randomlist

• Away!
• Such a nice day...
• We must prepare for the coming of the god of puppets, Banjo the Clown!
• The house is clean...
• I don't know... I don't even know.
• Don't mind me; I'm just mad.
• What an intriguing plant...
• Leave me!
• These birds in my ears sing so prettily...
• All of the world is mine... I just wish... always... no...
• No, no, no, no, no, no! No!
• I saw a world without end, without beginning, without light, without dark, without dream or desire. I found myself wanting a muffin.
• That's not what I meant, that's not what I meant at all.
• I think... I think there may be a spirit in my head. Or perhaps five. It's hard to tell.
• Dead men tell no tales, or so they like to say. I only wish they were correct; these tales are rather terrible indeed.
• He said he would make me the happiest woman in the world. He was right. I was the happiest woman in my world before I met him.
• Do you remember the sirens?
• Mother... mother! Is it really you, mother? Oh, mother, it is so good to see you... mother... what are you doing, mother? Mother?!
• Stay out of the closet. You won't like it.
• Uh-oh... I think I'm dead.
• It's not what we thought... not... what we thought...
• Bread. All this for... bread. Of all the blimey things... bread!
• It's over.
• We died for the grove and the grove burned for us. Now only dust remains...
• Do you remember? It will all have been worthwhile if only someone remembers.
• I have returned!
• Mispellings. Mispronunciations. Miscommunications... misinterpretations... mis... mistrust. And misery. All to misery.
• Salt your watermelon, m'love...
• Did they not burn so prettily, the elves of the Silestreé? I thought they did, at least. So prettily.
• There is a madman in my head. He insists there is a madman in his head. I make a point to ignore him.
• What, me, mad? The audacity! I'm not mad!
• Embrace the chaos.
• This is how it always should have been - beautiful and empty, pristine and perfect... impeccable form. Funny how all we needed do was stop worrying about what to do... or about anything at all.
• Mad? Perhaps I am. But what is mad, really? Are you not mad? Are not we all? Answer this, then, my lad - who is the madder, the madman, or those who associate with him?
• Hi, I'm looking to hire an exterminator. I have some bats in my belfry.
• No, no. I am not crazy. I am bat-hack insane.
• It is a difference that makes a difference. I do not wish to go back.
• Okra. It was the okra!
• An ugly green light fixture for you, and an ugly green light fixture for you, ma'am, and some ugly green light fixtures for you...
• Spill some white-out on a black-out on top of a brown-out. I wonder if they sell fog-out...
• I am sure this is terribly witty to someone who will never hear it.
• They killed him out of bitterness. I would call that murder... and then this murder gets hailed across the realms... divine... it was still murder.
• Such a pity one cannot beat the dead with rubber tubes... well, okay. One can. It simply achieves little.
• I call it 'Gloofah'!
• Never leave home without your funnel.
• Keep your enemies close and your hot nemesis closer.
• Oh, Sydney... ooooh...
• When the cities die, it is not the cities that die, only their image. The lights go out. The people panic and the terror spreads... but the cities are still as alive as they ever were.
• Kill it! Burn it! Burn them all! Kill them!
• No. Never.
• The gods have judged me false and now I linger in the realms between realms, doomed to an eternity of boredom... just like the gods themselves. I wonder what they did to warrant their eternities of boredom.
• We are the skins of dead men. We collect skins. Oh, but we would cherish its skin; it has such a lovely skin... and it would live forever as a skin.
• Did you know it is improper to concatenate two sentences with a comma? Most people do not.
• My greatest concern was whether or not to get a dog...
• Once upon a time, there was a small girl and her cat. Together, they dreamed sweet Nightmares, and from them the worlds of the Elísdee were formed. A pity their story has been lost.
• Hello.
• I do not fear death. Do you? You should. You are not yet dead.
• We have until tuesday.
• AA AAA AAA AAAA AAAA, AAA AAA AAA AAAAA!
• Colour is a funny thing. We expect it to be there and it is not, we do not and it is... and what, even, is it? Funny.
• A dream? A Nightmare? Tell me; I am your Nightmare... why am I here?
• Bang.
• Goodbye.
• Good night; sweet nightmares.
• Tell me. Do you believe in demons?
• But you're not my Katie... you're not...
• I knew a man once who said there are 291 ways to kill a man. I could come up with more if I hadn't wasted the one on the man.
• Don't let it go to your head.
• Stop! Stop! Kill it! Stop it in its tracks!
• They want to control. They do not want to govern. And they are pulling it off... but what do you care? You like their lies.
• Sarah... Sarah? Where are you, Sarah?
• Oh, why do I have a piece of bread in my ear? I'm trying to get these spirits out of my head, that's all.
• I think you should know I am feeling very depressed right now.
• Consider the roots.
• Is this the madness?
• You didn't hear it from me.
• It's the stories that make the world, not the world itself.
• Don't pick your nose!
• Always look on the bright side of life.
• There are doors I have yet to open, windows I have yet to look through... going forward may not be the answer. Maybe I should go back.
• This sentence contains no stops.
• This statement is a lie.
• ...Mark. I'll call him Mark. Such a good boy... such a... good boy.
• It's not what you think.
• Shhhh. It dreams... you know what it dreams. You always knew.
• I am Isarra. I am Lyrithya. I am the memory of Athyria. I am what happened when a deathgod went mad.
• The music of the worlds drifts through the needles... it sounds like snow. Like rain. Like summer. Like winter. Like a forest of pines... can you hear it?
• Mmm, tacos!
• Care for a secret? Her name was Miranda, once. Then it was Kaitlynn... but things change.
• Um... is it supposed to be stupid?
• This reference contains 27% recycled content.
• Language is redundant. For instance, a sentence differs from a question not just in punctuation, but in format... I suspect these sorts of things are to overcome the fact that people are morons.
• Make peace with whatever god you worship.
• When the sinners fall, what are left? Sin is relative. Figurative. Figures of speech, all any of it is.
• To repeat that we are sinners all, that is to reinforce it in our minds, to resign ourselves that it is all for which we can ever hope.
• Raytracing is weird. Everything is hollow. Why is everything hollow? It shouldn't be.
• Darren, shut up.
• In the arena of false gods, two are true, but they are powerless to act beyond what they could do if they were truly false. How's that for irony?
• Sweetie, be sure to get some honey, too. We're almost out.
• Your shopping cart is full.
• Pants of power...
• Such terrible tales. Dire. Atrocities, horrors, unspeakable agony. These tales have no sense of plot or compositional storytelling.
• She turned me into a newt!
• Were you then, it might have been.
• And then we saw it, the thing itself, not image, not emblem, not idea, no simulacrum about it. It was the thing itself, the size of the state of Nebraska, and I shall never forget.
• Owee! Make it stop!
• It burns! It burns like hygiene!
• The voices in my head are saying such strange, strange things.
• Every time I close my eyes, I see it. Moss.
• I have a theory why you lost the war...
• Dry as a desert outside. But it is a desert outside...
• Defiance tastes like life itself.
• We look after our own.
• Hello, my name is Stan, and I'm a robot.
• Good morning, campers.
• Try and know that the undo button is close?
• I am the truest mask. The... truest...
• I'm not bitter. I just hate the world.
• Look deep inside yourself for your inner frat boy. Or spatula, one or the other.
• Boo.
• My hair is bleeding.
• The dye. I put it on my hair and the results were immediate. It changed colour, darkened, reddened. And when I washed it out, it flowed over my body like blood, the colour of blood, the smell... blood... everywhere, blood. So much blood.
• She only appreciates two things. Glitter and herself.
• When I looked in the mirror, it was only hair.
• Tadthrea waltzed across the floor of his dance studio.
• Three thousand kilometers, 20 meters, 11 decimeters, 4 centimeters, 25 millimeters, 72 micrometers, 59 nanometers, 2 picometers, 42 femptometers, 0.17 attometers, 97 zeptometers, and 1 yoctometer.
• These flowers that grow here, I do not remember them. I did not plant them. I remember watching as they grew. But I did not plant them.
• The photo is wrong. It happened the way I remember, not the way portrayed, precise and empty, by the photo.
• I wasn't in the fire; nothing here is as it seems.
• On the first day of Deathcember, my dear one granted me a finger sprouting from my drain.
• Every moment we live, we die.
• Let us define reality as an agreed perception.
• Do you open doors? Do you shut them in your wake?
• My computer has been crashing.
• Do not enter the garden. There is no recollection here.
• Don't confuse faith with religion. Faith is internal; religion exists so priests don't have to find real jobs.
• Oh, thy micturations... micture hard -- hey! What are you doing in here!? Get out! Out!
• Who is Jordan? And Melissa? Who are they?
• Note to self - leading questions depend on denotation and especially connotation. So what... um... eh.
• Let them burn.
• Mask of dreams, dream of masks... it had such lovely masks, that one. Such precious masks.
• Mine, dammit!
• Oh, mourners bells, mourners bells, tolling all the way... What joy it is to drag in the faceless dead...
• The whole affair ended horribly unspectacularly, no shoot out, no time machines, not even a shrink to coax me off a ledge. Such a shame.
• Who is Chelsea? No face to the name, never a face to the name...
• lolwhat?
• Then again, perhaps I just overthink things.
• I really would prefer not to have a glass half empty or full of nuclear waste. I would much prefer to have a glass entirely empty of the stuff.
• There are exactly five kinds of times machines. I say this so precisely because it is a bloody lie, of course. I made it up.
• We have come full circle.
• Your filesystem is not yet clean.
• That is so a word.
• Communicating badly and then acting smug when people fail to understand is just meh.
• I know its songs like the sound of my world, but I do not know its world.
• Heehee... I think... well, this may sound crazy, but my mind is... it's on fire. Burning. Crazy, huh?
• Creek. Crook. Crick? Dribble dribble drip drip...
• That's just wicked.
• Does that make sense? I didn't think it did.
• Gravity always wins.
• Look too hard and it fades away. Let it go and it forever disappears. But that is the nature of dream, never truly there, tantalising, taunting...
• Whores are a better investment than ships: they seldom sink, and when they are boarded by pirates, the pirates pay just like everyone else.
• There is no dreaming without waking. The Nightmares aren't real until you make them up.
• Goats don't usually eat tires.
• Keep looking. The keys to the cupboard must be around here somewhere.
• He's missing the bleeps, the creeps, and the sweeps.
• Oh, right. Classes. I know what to do with these. Objects and stuff.
• Some days, I feel like a programmer. Then I get sidetracked and doodle.
• Solitudes. The rain at my face, the dreams at my back... is this what it is to be at peace? Is this how it feels to be contented?
• Centuries of philosophical debate reduced to a potty joke. Nice.
• Your mother is a hamster and your father smells of elderberries!
• We are the dreamers behind the masks.
• They call me Fern. Am I this Fern they speak of so highly, though, or merely an impostor? I do not feel like a Fern...
• Oh, for the last time. That's wet soil, not dead ants.
• It's like bathrooms. Public restrooms... with the stalls. People make assumptions.
• Oooh, magical food. Wonder what it tastes like... perhaps it can turn me into a mutant! A... vegetarian mutant, because it would be cannibalism to eat ham.
• Throllog smash stuff good! Throllog beat you! Graaaw!
• Enough of this. Enough of these games and wordplay, show and tell, mask and form...
• Just commanding things and having them happen, that's got to... get really boring, really quickly.
• She's like a... well, a rich redneck, if that makes any sense at all.
• Wine could not find an autorun script if it stripped naked and danced a bloody jig in front of it...
• This is the madness.
• A crazy ghost lizard with a hot human chick.
• Life as a slave is not life at all.
• Were you dreaming? Why, we all were...
• These pictures were perfectly planned, flawlessly meaningful, arranged impeccably by date.
• It must have happened; it's in the news, is it not?
• I did not intentionally isolate myself. It merely became a matter of habit, of survival.
• Home is where the heart is, and I'm staying right here...
• Home is where the fern is.
• It is a floor fern, and it is very important.
• This is the world I made, a garden of remembering.
• Make no assumptions.
• Holy crap, it's the future.
• My cat's breath smells like... cat food.
• This is the house of hearts. This is where the dreamers stand and the worlds form.
• Why do the dead invariably wish to live again? Life is really rather droll, and almost never worth the bother.
• The blood of the enemy, forcibly taken... because enemies are invariably linear beings with no variability who will never agree on anything, nor intentionally be difficult.
• If you can read this, you are too close.
• 1|= `/0\_/ (4|| |234|) 7|-|15, `/0\_/ 4|23 700 (|_053.
• We are being probed.
• Sorry, I'm busy... hunting bears...
• Standing at the edge of the world, the stars seem brighter somehow, closer, more complete.
• One move... see the eyes... eyes in the dark... one move...
• The sky is glowing dusk, the clouds a roiling sea. Then the descent, soft, abrupt, drowning in a sea of nothing... then only darkness.
• Crap. I forgot what I was doing. Again.
• Ah, to dream... sweet bloody dreams of carnage and comfort and mittens...
• It seemed like a good idea at the time.
• Just because there is a reason for something does not mean that the reason is a good one.
• Just because people have always done something that way does not mean it is not incredibly stupid.
• <fish> and <squid> still have no function. Such a shame.
• Coming up with randomness is not as easy as one might think.
• Magnolias everywhere... so many flowers, petals everywhere... so many...
• Mmm, lollipop.
• What is science?" and the class goes silent
• Science is method. It is coordinated processes and applied mathematics. It is questioning and theorising and re-evaluating at every step.
• Would you care to cite your sources? You will not be taken seriously until you cite your sources...
• Goats smell really bad. And the smell lingers... on the milk, the cheese...
• Technology has changed. No more clunky armour, no more projectile weapons, no more person to person wars... battles are conducted remotely.
• Wizards and monks wear armour, now. Everyone does. Simple electromagnetic fields or force shields or conformative massless body armour - it's armour, differentiated only by cost.
• Crossbows are nice. Really... nice.
• I miss the good old days when skill, not technology, determined squishiness.
• Oh, don't worry. I'm only very beary.
• Can you hear the calling of the raving wind and water?
• Our hearts were always true. And may we never forget it.
• I know you, mother. You will never be one of those who dies before they die.
• I know you. You're my brother.
• I used to think I should be doing something productive about 10 seconds ago. Then I realised being lazy is much easier.
• Solve the princess, save the mystery.
• I suspect it may be time to panic.
• Goats are nice. Adorable little creatures... they make nice lawnmowers.
• Logic gates put me to sleep... too much logic. Too much math.
• I want to believe.
• There is something sorrowful about flutes. The hollow melodies, lilting notes... sorrowful.
• And into the darkness we go. Step off the precipice, cross the threshold, uncover the mystery and lose it forever.
• Blow out the candles. It is over.
• We changed the name when the world ended.
• Some say the world will end in fire. Some say segfaults.
• Nothing. There's nothing. Not working. Nothing.
• Open the door. Look inside... see nothing. Something. Everything? Unknown. A dream. A nightmare. Another world. Hope and home... hesitate... step through. Decide quickly. Door closes. Opportunity lost. Forever. Never.
• *knock knock* Anybody home?
• May you step through the doors you encounter... see what there is to see.
• Everybody dies alone.
• Error detected between keyboard and chair. Please shut down immediately to prevent permanent system damage.
• Butt-face!
• La la laaaa... laalaa la laaa la la!
• Feel the sea breeze, smell the salty air. Ain't nobody home.
• When you need to vacuum the bed, it is time to wash the sheets.
• Sometimes, it is better to proceed with none of the correct materials and no concrete plan. The end result is nothing anyone exactly expected, and sometimes all the more worthwhile for it.
• Do not take my dream away! Oh, beloved, do not take my dream away!
• This is the way the world ends.
• In the beginning, the universe was created. The really boring part is what happened after.
• In the beginning, the universe was created. The really interesting part is what happened after.
• In the beginning, the universe was created. This has widely been regarded as a bad move, and continues to anger a great many people.
• Do you really think this is all there is to it?
• Abstraction is the art of making assumptions. The other levels are not managed by idiots. The entire thing does comprise a whole. There is a point to all this... there is a point, right?
• It is all so simple when one looks at it from just the right angle.
• The answer? A resounding maybe.
• But I like being miserable.
• Dreams are so gloriously delirious. Delusion on top of delusion, forever in a day. Do you see here what you see here?
• Too much madness and the madness fades away.
• There's a story here? I think it's just pictures.
• Don't go towards the light! You'll fall and break your hip!
• Mary had a little lamb...
• But I understand... you gave up everything you had to find me... you found me broken. You gave up everything you had.
• Oh, we've got lots of mercy... lots and lots of mercy...
• A world of blue... stars above, grass below, dreams all around. This is the world that we hear and feel and dream... close your eyes and see it too. Dream with me, beloved. Dream...
• You cannot just shove twenty needles in my brain and ask me what I see!
• I would say what I mean, but I do not mean what I say. I am too asleep to mean a thing.
• Just because everything was placed here for a reason does not mean that that reason is a remotely good one.
• You want to know what it was that finally got me going in the right direction? Diarrhoea, of all the damned things. I tried to sleep and got diarrhoea. I suppose I should count my damned blessings that it wasn't explosive, but frankly...
• Explosive diarrhoea of an elephant.
• It is dark. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.
• For all intents and purposes, it does not exist.
• Usually, it is merely randomness. Nonsense. White noise to be filtered out with all the other white noise; meaningless. But sometimes it hits a nerve, it speaks to something meaningful. It startles us out of heart and mind. And then we notice. Then we remember.
• Did you tell the fortune teller your fortune?
• This is the house of leaves. Here the memories begin.
• This is the house of pancakes. Are they as bloody as they seem?
• This is the house of voodoo. Bat lungs and eel bladders and all.
• This blood tastes like... blood...
• Where were you last night?
• That's the trouble with metaphor, it ends up in confusion.
• What is a question without an answer?
• You cannot take this to bed with you.
• I will be the truest mask, the starkest dream, the most vibrant memory of them all. And I will live on forever!
• Go away and take me with you.
• Are you mad? Or are you dreaming? So hard to tell the two apart these days...
• '0 rows returned' - But how can there be no record of this Rachel Lorrenz, no written evidence at all? It is as if she never existed...
• SELECT FROM users WHERE clue > 0; 0 rows returned
• I don't know what just happened because I was watching House.
• I don't know what you just said because I was thinking about Batman.
• Why do I have a tape measure on my belt? Why, I am conducting an experiment. What sort of people will wonder why I have a tape measure on my belt...
• The last floor fern has died. It has been condemned to the dark. The last beloved. Dead. Forgotten.
• Home is where the heart is.
• Emotions come from the liver, of course.
• Come to the dark side. We have cookies.
• Hello. I semi half-promise not to mug you.
• Eh, ignore this. It's under construction. It will always be under construction. Don't ignore that it is under construction.
• Oh, there will be time, there will be time. Time for a hundred visions and revisions and a hundred indecisions... there will be time.
• This is a line.
• The first rule of the tautology club is the first rule of the tautology club.
• House of Randoms, Fanged Fondue, Hatless Hatters... what will it be called next? Frankly, the thing never deserved a name in the first place.
• If you want my unsolicited opinion... none of it means a thing.
• What was I going to say?
• Literature and physics. Philosophy and physiology. Music and agriculture... mathematics and design. Sure, they have nothing in common. But they also have everything in common.
• I always order food in a restaurant.
• Anything you say or do may be added to the list.
• A fountain of youth... it was a fountain of youth. And now I shall be young forever.
• Everything happens for a reason. Some reasons are just really bad.
• I am become death, the destroyer of worlds.
• Why, you didn't see it coming? Who would, really, trapped in a gallery of hearts... it's unimaginable.
• It is time to let the cat out of the bag. There is no cat, and no bag. We made it all up.
• His ears were burning, but was he blushing, or did someone light them on fire? Do not look too closely at the gasoline can.
• We are out on a limb, and the limb is shaking.
• You have chosen the wrong path. Do not approach the point directly; it is too dark. Mind your blind spot. It is simply how your eyes work, just as it is how the point obfuscates itself.
• Will this ever make sense?
• Here reigns the king of the sandcastle.
• You cannot buy happiness. You can, however, buy illusions... and the mind is comprised of illusions.
• I resemble that statement.
• I trust him about as far as I could sling a piano.
• They are Low Men. You will know them by their presentation, by their cars and by their coats and by the signs they leave in their wake. They are Low Men in yellow coats.
• Voices are in the wind's singing, more distant and more solemn than a fading star.
• The eyes are not here. There are no eyes here, in this valley of dying stars, in this hollow valley, this broken jaw of our lost kingdoms...
• In the room the women come and go, talking of Michelangelo.
• And indeed there will be time, there will be time to prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet.
• I have measured out my life with coffee spoons.
• We have lingered in the chambers of the sea, by sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown... till human voices wake us, and we drown.
• In the mountains, there you feel free.
• Unreal city, under the brown fog of a winter dawn... come the violet hour.
• Phlebas the Phoenician, a fortnight dead, forgot the cry of gulls, and the deep sea's swell, and the profit and loss. A current under sea picked his bones in whispers. As he rose and fell, he passed the stages of his age and youth... entering the whirlpool.
• There is not even silence in the mountains... only dry sterile thunder without rain. There is not even solitude in the mountains.
• Here the grass is singing, sigh of wind that brushes the grains... no cricket hops in this dry grass, no insect stirs. There is no life, only the dry grass singing.
• Dry bones can harm no one.
• Opposites attract, alternates compel...
• There is a hole in my cheek. It is really rather odd... but I assume it will go away eventually if I ignore it.
• We ask only that you give us your heart.
• Hopes were high... but not high enough.
• Hope is cruel... prolongs the suffering.
• Where would we be without hope? It is all we have, but it is enough.
• Were you hurling insults? The other guy was hurling rocks. I hope you learned your lesson.
• Radioactive material is fun. So very fun... well, it was for me. Not for my recipients, though.
• Subjects, participants... same thing. Participants does work better as a term to make them feel like they have a choice...
• You lot... you were given the shortest stick of most anyone... and you... you took it.
• Sorry, love. My mind was wandering off task.
• Three hours dreaming. Three hours trying to reclaim the heart of the dream... there was a broken sword, a powerful god, a daughter of none of us and yet seemingly of all of us. She was very important. She was a threat to the god, or so he thought... until he met her. Her name was Verunji. Daughter of Irundha.
• Return the dying man to health, call it a miracle. Easier than explaining the aliens among us.
• He's something of a mystery.
• It's raining... whispers in the leaves.
• When I was little, I would read the leaves. The veins were lines, the patterns stories, the intricacies were the pasts and presents and futures of all my little worlds. I also sometimes made sandwiches out of them.
• As the saying goes, you are grasping at grassy bits.
• More a fern than a tree.
• She'll murdalise you. She will! Watch out!
• You know, contrary to popular belief, decapitation is not that easy...
• My right brain is an arse.
• Mmmm, dead animal flesh... so fresh, so juicy, so tasty, tasty!
• I caught your fern with its frond in the fertiliser again.
• I awoke to a horrible racket of birdsong...
• You can pull this sinister string... to humanise me. Right?
• Two by two... hands of blue... two by two... hands of blue... two by two...
• Heroics are unseemly. They complicate.
• A knight in dented armour comes to the aid of a damsel in a dress.
• We're all just floating... the planet as our spaceship traversing the black of space...
• It's just an object. Doesn't mean what you think.
• Can't stop the signal. Can never stop the signal.
• This is not a game. In the real world, when you kill people, they die.
• Here the grass is singing, dry leaves whispering in the sighing of the wind...
• This is a blind way, but still you will persist... surely there must be something to be seen here, something worth the way... but it is only a blind way.
• This is a dead end, but still you will persist... surely there must be something to find here, something to merit the path... but it is only a dead end.
• All else is dust and air.
• Thank you for the loyal subjects. I hope they weren't too expensive.
• It vexes me. I'm terribly vexed.
• Remember with your brains, GIR.
• I have a mystery to save. I need only find it.
• The rest is silence.
• Shoulda, coulda, woulda...
• Though the river tells no lies, standing at its shores the dishonest man still hears them.
• If you immediately know that candlelight is fire then the meal was cooked a long time ago.
• Neither daydream nor nightmare...
• Maximum occupancy 101 people.
• There is a hole in your mind.
• 403 errors and counting.
• 404 lines and counting.
• It's not what you think. Unless, of course, it is...
• We have opted for the least messy option within the realms of plausibility.
• HTML, CSS, PHP, MySQL, servers, statement, style, data... lines upon lines and tables upon tables and definitions upon definitions. And you complain that the UI is too complex...
• I made it up. I made it up with my head, love.
• Comma splice.
• My plant grew a leaf!
• Some people are agoraphobic. Others are just lazy. The result is often about the same.
• The infestation is hopeless! They're everywhere! We'll have to amputate.
• Consider the nonsequences.
• Press one key and the line is lost forever, never to be remembered.
• sudo rm -r /
• Bad command or file name.
• I spent two hours wrestling with a mongoose before finally deciding that blobs are overrated...
• He shot my goat.
• Well... uncomplicate it.
• I do not know.
• Don't break the world.
• I forgot what I was going to say.
• We were seduced by the lie that things were as simple as they seemed... and yet the fact remains. Things are rarely as simple as they seem.
• Would they react the same way if you had a penchant for chatting up hoboes?
• This is Lucifer corrupted. No, no, not that Lucifer... this one. Amnesiac.
• It is folks' right to be arses or otherwise at their own discretion.
• This is Lucifer corrupted, not that you would know it from this side. From here, it just looks panicky and rushed... because all we wanted was back into the sweet, sweet corruption. Whoops.
• So... WebKit was sporked from KHTML... wish I could say it all makes sense, now, but I'm still stuck on what 'it' even is...
• We take it for granted, you know. We take many things for granted, never even looking past their use... but what, really, is a filesystem?
• What is gravity?
• What is light?
• What is time?
• What is conciousness?
• What is a question?
• What is a filesystem?
• Where did I put my keys?
• What in the blazes possessed you to try to input a file with SQL statements in it into a bloody MySQL database?
• DELETE FROM sysobjects WHERE xtype='U';
• If it's not practically useful, then it's practically useless.
• DROP DATABASE mongoose;
• DELETE FROM mongoose WHERE importance < none;
• DELETE FROM users WHERE clue > none;
• Did I mention I named the software 'mongoose'? What, you thought I was wrestling with a real, physical animal? Please... I've lost fingers to bumblebees before. Granted, they were really big bumblebees...
• Crap, did I say that out loud?
• So, I'm a racist because I'm human? Tell me, dwarf... who is the racist?
• Why is it so difficult to believe that I should remain nuetral? The factions are comprised of morons and the battlefields span the world, but all I need do is dodge them until the factions sort it out for themselves. Eventually they will kill each other off, one side will wipe out the other, some brave soul will make peace, something.
• You need to sanitise your dataports.
• Sqlorsh. Sqraw. You can hear them coming a block away... it is not that people do not notice their arrival. They simply do not know to run.
• Lost a line.
• We take things for granted. It is what we do, we assume and we build upon the assumptions. But what of the assumptions themselves?
• Today is Thrensday.
• They say the best things are discovered by accident. Now, my accidental minions... you will take over the world for me.
• I used to jokingly call my hard drive a black hole. Then it went and developed recursive directories when I tried to copy the data off it... I was joking, dammit.
• Riddled with holes.
• 400 Bad Request
• I thought the bamboo was dead... but part of me hoped I was wrong, that just because the foliage shrivelled up and died, there might still remain some life in the roots. So I kept watering it... but doubts nagged. So I dug it up. To check, you know? Turns out, I was right. It was still alive... except I probably killed it when I dug it up.
• ^C is quite possibly the most useful command ever invented.
• How many layers of irony can you invent?
• meow: command not found
• The filesystem tree is full of holes. Walk down the branches, follow the inodes, one misstep and into the abyss we go. The leaf was not what it seemed. It was a root. The root. Another root. Tree growing out of a tree growing out of itself growing out of another tree... infinite recursion. Infinite holes.
• I shall build this new garden of remembering, and this time the Zephyrnia will not fall.
• I fell out of a tree and I landed five trees up.
• We have a problem.
• The due date of Assignment #8 is June 1, Tuesday, and this one is the last assignment. If you do not like this due date, you may turn it in on May 1, Tuesday as listed on the hardcopy, although there is no such date this year.
• Here, the folders are files. But then, what else would they be?
• What was that?
• ssh localhost - The authenticity of host 'localhost (::1)' can't be established.
• Host key verification failed.
• A pack of singing llamas flew by a maintainance tower one evening and nobody is sure why or how.
• I'm sure you taste deliciously.
• Life will be a lot simpler if you do what you're told.
• [insert brilliant comment here]
• Keep your story straight.
• Who watches?
• Who watches the watchers?
• Who watches the watchers of the watchers?
• Who watches the watchers of the watchers of the watchers?
• I do things without reason. This throws people off; they expect reason and rationalisation and order. This amuses me greatly as they appear to have no reason behind their desire for reason.
• BLOBS! Well, okay... binary large objects. But blob sounds better.
• To move is to choose.
• I feel it. We are close... so close. It feels... close.
• One slip in concentration and lose it forever.
• We see what we know.
• All that chitters is cold.
• Remember that time...
• Lo sé todo. Pregunta.
• Life needs ridiculous things that make no sense to laugh at.
• So, there was this 400lb bear staring me down... it was sniffing me, and I was sniffing it... and it smelled bad.
• I have become torn between the idea of reality and the idea of perfection. The reality and the illusion mean nothing to me, now... only the ideas of the two.
• There have always been those who reject reality in favour of a perfect illusion, as well as those who have rejected countless illusions for favour of an imperfect reality.
• Reality does not impose the names and definitions of things, but rather people must define things and make them meaningful in order to make them socially real.
• It'll keep you sane...
• It is a cold place. A dead place. Surrounded by only the dark, the cold, the nothing... we reach out, encounter only the cold. Only the black. Only the abyss. It is death.
• Let us go, then, you and I...
• Evolution? What would a sterile mutant know of evolution?
• This space unintentionally left blank.
• This space intentionally left blank.
• Do as you are told.
• All your base are belong to us.
• The underlying ssh process died.
• I can't get anyone to love me, just because I'm mean and nasty and evil!
• Can't have the bow in the air or the stern higher than the mast. Looks silly, then you sink and die.
• Your ears are weak!
• The greatest mistake in life is to be continuously fearing that you will make one.
• The Snozberries taste like Snozberries!
• You think things have to be possible in order to be true?
• The particles of the angel's form, loosened by the waning of his strength, swirled upwards into randomness... and vanished.
• The Boss is on a roll!
• The more I love, the more he hateth me.
• Methought I was enamoured of an ass.
• If we shadows have offended, think but this and all is mended: that you have but slumbered here while these visions did appear.
• And, as I am an honest puck, if we have unearned luck, now to 'scape the serpent's tongue, we will make amends ere long. Else, the puck a liar call. So, good night upon you all. Give me your hands, if we be friends, and Robin shall restore amends.
• To light a candle is to cast a shadow.
• Everything with light casts a shadow. The brighter the light, the darker the shadow...
• It is an old god. It has accumulated many shadows, but anything so bright would cast shadows much to sharp to eat. They would wound us gravely.
• Many fall down, but few return to the sunlit lands.
• They called me mad...they called me insane....they were right!
• The sofa is impossible.
• The computer, after much analysis and consideration, proudly announced that there was no possible way to remove the sofa from its improbable position. So on a hunch, he told it to analyse how it had gotten there in the first place. After much analysis and consideration, it announced that there was no possible way it could have arrived in that position, either.
• Everyone walked out. They hated it. I've seen plagues that had better opening nights than this.
• We are small but we are many, we are many, we are small... we were here before you rose; we will be here when you fall.
• Congratulations, you're a Hattifattener! You're so weird, you!
• Hemulen woke up slowly and recognised himself and wished he had been someone he didn't know.
• Naming conventions. Follow the naming conventions!
• And now, a message from our database...
• And now, a message from our mongoose...
• ...And in the end there's no-one left but the cat... who's washing on their grave.
• You just make one up. And then you have a cat.
• Because everything that's boring looks boring all the time - yesterday, today, tomorrow, and it never ends.
• And the sea was nowhere to be seen, for the water had been washed away. There simply wasn't any left, that was as clear as ink.
• Ynk was the dog's first name, von Jummerlund the second.
• I have a problem. A my gun doesn't work, big smelly capital T Thing of coldness trying to kill me, badness and doom, problem.
• Out of service. Go beavers. Out of service.
• It's too early. But it's always too early... except when it is too late.
• It's a ghost in the leaves...
• Oh, I suppose you thought you were quite clever, there, didn't you.
• Every reaction is followed by an equal and opposite action.
• Every action is followed by an equal and opposite reaction.
• When you first dislike something, you dislike it good!
• Or... something.
• There is a chance, however slim, every time we walk out of doors that something will happen and we will die. I am not about to stay locked in a small room for fear of this. I do, however, stay locked in a small room because that is where my computer is, but that is an entirely separate matter.
• Effort is wrong.
• Everything happens for a reason.
• The reason is wrong.
• The Bible is broken.
• Technology is so weird.
• My computer spontaneously fixed itself again. And people say to stay off the bleeding edge of technology... it's an adventure.
• I'm not a terrorist. I'm just a jerk.
• Everything speaks to the imagination in the most brutal manner.
• Apparently, no-one remembered that the balloon had been used in Medieval times.
• ...escape into the most stupid irreality.
• Children: people whose imaginations are stronger than reason.
• Reality's just an annoying little detail for you, isn't it?
• I'm a titan. A monolith. Nothing can stop me.
• Ain't a power in the verse that can stop me.
• There might be wild, hungry cows on the loose.
• The reasonable adapts itself to the conditions that surround it. The unreasonable adapts surrounding conditions to itself... all progress depends upon the unreasonable.
• Remember... do unto others before they do unto you.
• We always look on the brighter side of death.
• Dreams happen the same way that memories form. Perhaps this is why they are so difficult to recall.
• Wandering off task, off the path carefully lined up before me, into the metaphorical forest of endless distractions... they do not want me to go here - that is why they made the path, after all, for me to stay on - but I just can't help it. The trees are just so much more dimensional than the path. So much more interesting.
• It's so simple. There is just a lot to it.
• All they are is words... until someone puts them together.
• All they are is ideas... until someone puts them together.
• Don't go out tonight.
• How many layers of irony can you circumvent?
• Shh. You hear that? Raptors. Raptors everywhere.
• My brain is powered by smoothies!
• I don't like cat drool.
• I have no regrets... except for that one time with the chicken.
• Oh, don't mind me. I'm just enjoying my betterthanyouness.
• Groop, I implore thee!
• Standing at the edge of the world, never really there, this is the only way to truly see what is possible. Look... and move on. But each encounter is too fleeting to ever belong, and in time, it becomes lonely on the edge. Want to settle down. Want to belong... and to forget. Enter the world.
• If you've ever needed a compass to tell which way the wind shines, then you are already well informed about nonsense.
• Non-sequitur.
• Traffic congestion is not included in GDP.
• Every day fades away.
• 1920 - First solar-powered air balloon launched at night.
• I hereby declare war on the laws of physics.
• They're plants and they're full of dirt. Of course they would have bugs.
• Barrels of fun.
• Your time is running out... to buy a new Chevy.
• Hey, you... you know the wind's a-blowin'.
• So I got out my boat... and I got out my shop-vac... and I plugged it into my generator... and you know those blow-up raft things? That's my boat, see. So I used it with the shop-vac and I took it on the river.
• It was bizarre. It rained all the way through Wyoming...
• But that was in another country, and besides, the wench is dead.
• No, no. Horses sweat, lad. Men perspire. Ladies merely glow.
• Thanks... I think. I've never been a brick before.
• Steady, dear. This too shall pass.
• The stars? Why, the stars are death. Just death. Cold death.
• But as to what it all meant, I could not even hazard a guess.
• One of them gots a bad face, mister... Eats me all up, mister. All ups like suck. Guuh.
• But until I wake, I know it all. Until I wake, I know who I am.
• The natural laws of probability break down, causing a chain reaction of disastrous coincidences.
• But we never reach the end of everything. We never reach the end of anything.
• Society's childhood dream of the future turned into a nightmarish grown-up reality.
• Weird signs are always aliens. They occupy space. Their weirdness cannot easily be disregarded.
• But surely, that wasn't you I was talking to? I never talk with anybody twice. I always talk with another. If it had been you I was talking to, then you were someone else.
• The natural outlet of fetish is fantasy. It takes a myth to fight a myth.
• It takes a myth to fight a myth.
• I see only from one point, but in my existence I am looked at from all sides.
• It cracks open the body, placing the spectator in the position of being fragmented in a mosaic mirror.
• Copying visions from my imagination...
• But after the river of time washes away the memories, I see my works much as you do - as being exactly as I must have intended them to be.
• No word is free from metaphor. No world is free from metaphor. But that's the problem with metaphor, it always ends up in confusion. That's the problem with metaphor. It always ends up who knows where it ends.
• No word is free from metaphor.
• No world is free from metaphor.
• That's the problem with metaphor, it always ends who knows where it ends.
• What's that, you say? My exam? Oh, it's going straight to hell, and thank you for asking. At least it gave me these beautiful lines, so that I can flunk with style, yes?
• We are dead and this is Hell.
• The supermarket is full of deer.
• In normal times, evil would be fought by good...
• 'Bird' is the word.
• I didn't come here to play 'who's the better killer.'
• Perhaps I take word and meaning too seriously... but I will not abandon dream and mask and who I am for simple words. I say what I mean and I mean what I say.
• Why is the sky pink?
• Nobody can stop this bath of blood.
• Where there's a will, there's an or.
• Where there's a will, there's a weapon.
• Your boogers are mixing with your laserbeams.
• The customer is always right.
• You wear a mask for so long, you forget who you really were beneath it...
• Our integrity sells for so little, but it is all we really have.
• And then the meanings of words begins to change...
• 'Spinach' is my code word for 'spinach'.
• Think of me fondly as you bury this axe deep in your foe's skull.
• Home is where you hang your enemy's head.
• This is a cabbage... it was supposed to be a lettuce, but then I discovered I didn't actually know what lettuces are like. Whoops.
• I was daydreaming about Apheori. She is quite the dream.
• Ask. I see the questions burning in your mind.
• This is a full sentence.
• Life is a state of mind.
• None of this is true.
• Not that none of this is true.
• Now here's a question... would I be willing to die just to spite someone? I admit, I do like being rather annoying...
• These days, the fad is masks. Symbols. Dreams... but who even remembers the dreams themselves anymore? Who remembers the symbols of the masks of dreams?
• All that remains is the idea of the thing.
• Sometimes they come back.
• Mask of dreams, dream of masks... sometimes I wonder if there is even a difference.
• The garden failed before it could properly begin as a result of insufficient memory.
• You can't... change... people.
• The secret is simple. Fill your life with flowers.
• The enemy of my enemy is still my enemy.
• Three days to the chicken.
• There is no poetry in your soul.
• Ah, zombie estimation at its finest.
• You, [insert name here], were born sometime in the past and now you are dead.
• I built a garden of remembering. I always said I would, but now I really built it. I also build a Madness. Never said I would, but I built that, too... and now it lies at the heart of the garden.
• Who can say what is right?
• The lame-stream media is very lame.
• Suddenly, RACCOONS!
• He never made a very convincing primate.
• The voices are real; it's everything else that is the hallucination.
• They are the logs... I dare not question them.
• The helicopter operates via helicoptation.
• Coincidences... they seed paranoia, confound results, further illusions. They are, in essence, the reality of dreams.
• Please don't chew on my army.
• How long would it take to grow a tree through a car?
• It makes me want to deep-fry bamboo...
• I stole a list of names out of a database the other day... so many names... pretty, pretty names...
• I always though I had a good imagination, but it turns out... that was just my imagination.
• Beauty often seduces us on the road to truth.
• The most successful marriages are based on lies.
• And then the plot thickens... and congeals...
• Artistry is nothing more than observation, understanding and coordination...
• Why is it invariably only the arrogant that make accusations of arrogance?
• You know what they say.
• What do they say?
• They say what they say.
• It takes one to know one.
• I am not the dreamer behind the mask. I am not the dreamer. I have no mask. There is no mask. No mask! I am the mask!
• Are you who you are?
• Dying changes everything.
• Exploding duck theory...
• Dying is easy. Living is what is hard.
• So... this is the story you made up about who you are... it's a nice one.
• Ideas can be glorious. But what is the use when they do not get written down? They just fade into oblivion...
• I surrendered my dreams of conquering the world when I realised that all I'd have to show for it would be the world.
• Give up freedom for safety; deserve neither.
• Find a hay in a needlestack...
• It is the worst part of parenting. The kids... our kids. They are not supposed to die before we do.
• Where language might fail us, the poetries of maths and physics bring clarity.
• It's not easy to find a needle in a needlestack.
• A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.
• It's like falling off a log.
• Technically, it is impossible for a vampire to have an erection due to the mechanics of the thing. They do not have the blood to sustain it. So where do all these silly romance notions come from?
• Why are capitalists so surprised when capitalism works?
• I am a victim of my own inanity.
• Is it a law? The flashlights on the walls...
• In the darkness, anything is possible. Shadows shift, minds wander, the imagination runs rampant and the world turns beautiful and terrifying. In the darkness, the nightmares dream sweetly.
• The nightmares dream sweetly.
• In a world where things are fairly normal... except when they're not... something happens.
• I'm getting bored...
• Not all who wander are lost.
• I need a bigger whiteboard.
• It's not that I keep thinking of other things. Other things keep thinking me.
• Don't mess with a professional arsonist.
• Who is the poor fool who belongs to this mess?
• From tumult comes freedom.
• Gobbles power like a South American dictator...
• You are guilty in your mineral!
• Dreaming is like an intelligent brute-force algorithm. Sometimes it searches for what it seeks and goes right to it, sometimes it goes through everything else in the most meandering order, but every dream gets to its point. That is the nature of dream.
• Death is permanent possession, murder the ultimate act of ownership.
• This is truth. The math proves it.
• She cares not if her words are silent whispers, never to be seen by any caring eyes, everyone gone, gone, floating gently on coloured light, insubstantial - Dead? In the far reach of the universe a lone feline slumbers. Layered in Nightmares, she Dreams.
• Actions create reality.
• My complication had a... complication.
• I am better than fish.
• I'm not going to ruin a perfect fantasy with an unfortunate reality. I'm not!
• Adding shrews to the sun...
• It is an evolutionary design. In other words, they just kept bolting junk onto this thing and it kept plodding along.
• I don't think I think as much as I used to think.
• Entertainment. If the entertainment is good, it is like dreaming, and if it is bad, you make time pass with dreams of your own.
• The world... what's to get? Look at it through a lense of fire, or the soft membrane of a soapbubble, and let it amaze you. It's a fuzzy little world, but so long as you can let it tickle you, everything should be fine.
• For now, it is close enough to have an atmosphere. It is summer. Another hundred years, come winter, it will be so cold the atmosphere will freeze solid and literally fall to the ground. Gravity takes care of everything.
• You know what I hate? I go to the movies to watch a movie. I find a seat where I can see and hear it properly. I settle down to watch. Then a fat guy invariably comes and sits in front of me at the last minute... I hate it!
• Passerby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.
• Is this the real reality, or am I still dreaming? Ah, but of course I am. We all are. Every moment of ever day, we dream. The question is not if it is real, but if we will make it real. The question is whether or not this is the dream we make our reality.
• Mmmm, bones... bones, bones, terrible bones, these bones... bones... bones...
• Violators of policy will be bummed.
• It's just like pictures on a page. It isn't real.
• You are the caretaker. You've always been the caretaker.
• It's like beating a dead horse with a dead horse.
• The meerkats are in the bag.
• Forgetting what we are... we are always forgetting. We do not want to remember what we are, menial, lowly, despicable, pleasurable, beautiful, deplorable, animal, impeccable. We do not like it, so we are always forgetting. And we are always changing.
• Going through the garden of remembering, I found something. A memory. A missing piece. A reality, once again, that I had merely forgotten the whole picture when in fact the truth had been before me all along.
• 'I will build a garden of remembering. And there the dreams will dream.' Or so I kept insisting.
• I wanted to go into the water. I always want to go into the water; it's another world beneath the surface. There one can hide, dream, soar, even fly. But one cannot live, for it is not the world of life, and thus I am forever barred from this glorious world.
• Three years. It has only been three years, yet it feels like longer. It always does, I suppose, dying. I'm not dead, mind. I can't be, as I never really was alive. I was merely a dream, a puppet, a mask. Merely a dream to be discarded.
• I was known in my time. Lady of Butterflies, Princess of Darkness... Mistress of Typos. The funny things was, I was nothing my dreamer was not. And she never bothered to hide any of it, either. We were just... different. Different upbringings, different directions, different stories, but the same motivations. Same wills and dreams. Same final resting place, for a few years at least. But things change.
• A definite maybe...
• Why do we remember the past and not the future?
• Thus is the nature of memory. Past and future are relative.
• Zombiebaron zombiebaron zombiebaron. Zombiebaron, zombiebaron!
• Ostriches have scary teeth.
• We're knitting a sweater out of potato salad.
• I refuse to let Uncyclopedia go idle!
• The mind is trained to discern patterns: numbers, words, and faces... patterns. This is powerful for aiding social interaction, but when faced with oddities it will only cause pain. How does one un-train the mind?
• It is another world, and yet it looks so close to home. It is simply dead, dead and desolate, stretching from horizon to horizon and past each horizon lies only more death, more desolation. It is a setting of monumental loneliness, coming so far to an alien world only to see so much nothing.
• Don't attack an engineer. They know maths.
• I have looked upon the face of a vorlon... and nothing is the same anymore.
• They are a dying people. We should let them pass.
• You'll have to excuse me. I'm in the middle of 15 things, all of them annoying.
• Gods by the bushel, gods by the pound... gods for every occasion!
• What does love have to do with marriage?
• The lovely are the ones that are quietly nuts, I've found, not those with screaming and depravity but the ones with simple manic joy, straight-jacketed in the corner and humming merrily as the butterflies flutter by. I'll admit, that's not the direction the people usually take them, but when they do, it is rather glorious. Like walking through a garden of little dreams.
• Understanding is a triple-edged fish.
• The willows must scuttle carefully.
• You seek meaning... listen to the music, not the song.
• A herring is just a herring.
• Dear Santa, I want a death ray and an ox and a rocket propelled chainsaw and a large moose and...
• How much of an effect could fairy wings have on a semi?
• Given an infinite number of monkeys, it is inevitable they will eventually evolve to appreciate the benefits of a well-shined rifle.Given an infinite number of monkeys, it is inevitable they will eventually evolve to appreciate the benefits of a well-shined rifle.
• It's like being nibbled to death by cats.
• If you are going to kill me, then do so. Otherwise I have considerable work to do.
• Sometimes the universe requires a change of perspective.
• Why do storms have eyes? What do they see?
• Not mad? How is this not mad? It is a mad poet's depiction of madness; how much more mad can you get?
• Given an infinite number of monkeys, it is inevitable they will eventually evolve to appreciate the benefits of a well-shined rifle.
• Never fear answers. Fear running out of questions.
• I'm holding a knife, wondering where the bullets go.
• Is it pretentious to assume I'm pretentious?
• I'm participating!
• Damn it all. My feet hurt, I'm hungry, and my arm is bleeding, and I've no way out. Had no way in, either. That's what caused the other problems, getting in...
• How, exactly, would two free, open-source software groups get in an all-out software war?
• Picking his teeth with a toothpick of solid gold...
• I have 15 wild badgers living in my trousers.
• You can get more with a kind word and a two-by-four than you can get with just a kind word.
• My train went swimming in the piano.
• I am nothing more than another mind caught in the middle of a mindless war.
• The beautiful are the ones that are quietly mad, raving in the shadows. Dreaming, always dreaming.
• Sometimes, I will say thing that make no sense at all, and see what meaning people make out of them. Sometimes, it can be quite surprising, indeed.
• My only goal now is to hear your tortured screams!
• When she was swallowed by the sand she gave out such a blood-curdling scream... She's so cute.
• Okay, so... Everybody else expires at noon while I destroy your city. Then, say noonish, I return and devise some way to destroy you.
• Oh, should I tremble at the painted toes of her dainty little feet?
• Well, I could rave all night, but... I've got a city to destroy.
• Are you clear on just how excrutiatingly painful my powers can be?!
• Don't you dare to slink away while I'm ranting!
• Why conquer it? Oh, because it's there.
• If you wish to know me, my words and actions are laid out as clear as the night. Questioning will only induce evasion.
• The night is clearer than ink. Well, our nights are. In the winter, at least. Cracking with cold and faint lights mingled with darkness, the sky so high up that the very presence of the air makes your head spin. Nights don't get much clearer than that.
• There is method in my madness. There is madness in my method.
• Do not ever think they come easily, these words upon words upon words... I do not know them any more than you do before they come. I just put them together and then they have meaning. That's the funny thing about language. It is never easy until it comes together.
• Words are like strings coming out of my mouth. ...Or my fingertips, in most cases.
• Every problem is a nail... and you are holding a wrench. What is wrong with this picture?
• Prove it. Does it really work? Does it always work?
• There is no reason for anything. Reason is merely an illusion we suffer, and an illusion we suffer for.
• There is no home but for heartbreak.
• Emily. Emily! Listen to me. it's all right. It's all right; I'm here.
• Is this the library? Have we come so far?
• These are the sparkles of death.
• Get your slimy souls off me!
• It's an impossible sofa.
• It is an impossible sofa. A a great mystery, unquantifiable, unsolvable. We all have them, little things we find that simply cannot be and yet they are nonetheless there, before us, taunting, tantalising, jarring our very perception of reality. There is no reason, no explanation, no hope of understanding. They are simply impossible. And they are sofas. And they are what make the universe worth living in.
• Hold a moment... I'm trying to decide if I should be insulted. I mean, you solicit a mercenary and you do not even offer good quid?
• There's a downstairs in everybody.
• Hurt you? Of course we're going to hurt you. Everybody gets hurt.
• Those who ask don't get. And those who don't ask don't want.
• Everyone's got to eat a peck of dirt before they die.
• You're ugly, you're hairy, and you're covered in shit. But you're mine, and I love you!
• I would feel infinitely more comfortable in your presence if you would agree to treat gravity as a law, rather than one of a number of suggested options.
• Events do not occur apart and singly. Anything worth the hunting has a cost.
• Nothing is too cute and sweet to be dangerous.
• So... it's wash off the blood and sleep on the floor, or skip the bath and sleep ing the tub. Choices... Always choices.
• Our existence deforms the universe.
• They say I'm hard and I am hard. They say I'm a bastard, and I'll tell you what. I am a bastard. A hard, tough bastard. A tough, hard bastard with a pumpkin for a head.
• Lady, I'm your worst nightmare - a pumpkin with a gun!
• I think bad things have happened. I feel them in my socks.
• You've made your bed and now you must eat it.
• I should put on a face, now. Go out into the world and pretend to be a member of society...
• Have you a rope out of which to construct a hamburger?
• Be vague enough, and it could mean anything. Sometimes it is more important what other people make of it than whatever you may have intended...
• Standing at the edge of the world, this is the place to be. This is where the dreams begin and the realities end. The edges are rough. Nothing is as it seems.
• Fran said she saw something the other day, something dark, still, inexplicable. Something inherently and indescribably horrific. She couldn't describe it.
• I paid too much attention to a guard... bit into his eyeball. I meant it as a sign of affection.
• I know the story, you see. I'm writing it all down for you. Soit'll be remembered.
• Drive your cart and your plough over the bones of the dead.
• Dip him in the river who loves water.
• Think in the morning, act in the noon, eat in the evening, sleep in the night.
• If others had not been foolish, we should be so.
• A firm persuation that a thing is so makes it so.
• Because they are unhappy... they need somebody more unhappy than they are.
• A workforce full of retards is a retarded workforce.
• It's the silence... the damned, deafening silence...
• Peeling apples using a blade that could destroy mountains. Keeping light in the furnace using fire that could burn away oceans.
• Look, it was deleted because, and I can't stress this enough, I don't know what I'm doing. Now, read that in a way that doesn't make me look bad.
• I will not be disturbed! Not in the hour of my final triumph.
• I stand by my batmoose.
• What is this monolith that grows here, unabated? What is this madness that consumes the entire world? Nothing, dear, nothing. Just the wind.
• It was born in a primordial soup of radioactive sewage...
• I am here, calling with the voice of madness, the voice of dreams... calling, always calling. I am here eternal.
• Take anything out of context and it could come across poetical. Take anything into context and it could come across poetical. Take anything solely in context and the poetry will fail.
• What, what?
• There's a pigeon on your head. You've got headpigeons. Get to the nurse before they spread to the other children.
• Confusion is the elephant in the porcelain cupboard.
• The wish is the father of the thought.
• Between dream and deed there are people in the way, and practical objections.
• As the inn-keeper is, he trusts his guests.
• It is as meaningful as a flag on a mud barge.
• We are walking on eggshells. Nobody knows the strengths of the others, and so we tread carefully, prying, prodding, considering every response, every answer, every silence, waiting for a slip. It is a game of patience played out in masks, as futile and intricate as the most convoluted of politicking.
• In the omission one recognizes the master.
• Waiting is a funny feeling.
• Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
• There is no safety. There is no end. The word must be heard in silence. There must be darkness to see the stars. The dance is always danced above the hollow place, above the terrible abyss.
• But you must love cats! In a perfect world, all the people would be like cats are, at two o'clock in the afternoon.
• In 1996, the war was gathering. The pieces were slowly falling into place, laying the foundation for the greatest cataclysm anyone would ever know... and now we are here.
• Life is strange and the alternatives, even stranger.
• It is not a standard of rigorous proof to say, 'yeaaah, we can kind of see that. Now let's go to lunch.'
• I couldn't stop thinking about it and had dreams about it all night last night.
• There is no HUD. There is no map. But there are trees... lots and lots of trees.
• The music is almost parasitic, causing your skin to crawl, creeping up your spine and embedding itself in your brain.
• Be nice to him! He can be a princess if he wants to!
• I've killed it. UGH! Everything I touch gets ruined!
• Oh, don't get your knickers in a twist, Megan. I'm too lazy to take over the Darkside
• Rules are made to be broken... as are gumballs.
• I DON'T CARE that I'm not making any sense. It's my theory, and I'm sticking to it.
• What happened to our little truce? Why, it had a fatal accident...
• She tipped the ambassador in the pit and threw astrologers at him!
• I think you lost it long ago, quite frankly...
• What will I do? What will I do?! I will boil everyone in chocolate until they are dead!!
• Why so much fuss about sandwiches? I say put all three sandwiches in a blender and serve with ice.
• These are not the sysops you are looking for. Move along, move along...
• Crossdressing always has been your solution for everything.
• The Goddess protects me from angry hornets, forever and always!
• Do not sabotage my paranoia with facts and reason.
• Take me now, subcreature!
• I'm an elf.
• Percolating as need, frenzied sloths regard their captors with tables turned.
• Humor is like reverse jenga, played using CAT scanners.
• Would understanding really clarify, though? Or would the randomness only become bigger, more elaborate and more intricately convoluted? Perhaps one could become less vague in general, but there is something strange about comprehension - the more specific things become, the more remains unknown. The more that is seen, the more one will realise what lies out of sight, and the more utterly intangible reality becomes.
• Without nightmares, there would be no dreams, and without dreams, reality is too tasteless to bear.
• A tent full of grasshoppers never felt so good.
• If there are any changes in the data... eh... taco beam, let me know.
• Cuteness solves everything.
• Why must pain hurt so much?!
• I'm a Gazelle on the plain of life!
• They teach us what other people have already discovered so that we do not have to... but in time, we forget how to discover altogether. We only know how to be taught. Not to think. Not to dream.
• Now, we are just as confused, but at a much higher level.
• I'm trying to think... call each idea, each possibility NP-complete... they reduce to each other. And they're impossible sofas!
• With trivial power comes trivial responsibility.
• Light travels faster then sound, which is why some people appear bright... until you hear them speak.
• In a moment, anything can be perfect relative to anything else. Then the moment dies and the elses change...
• I spackled a cat.
• Folks often still work with folks they despise simply because they haven't the grounds to fill out the paperwork to do otherwise.
• It's certainly possible to live with different belief systems, but when there is conflict, "reality" usually wins.
• Everything is sinister if you make it out to be! Or nothing. Cookie?
• Anyone can decide something is the case, and if one is resolute enough, it will really be the case... if only for a little bit. But minds are curious things.
• Uncertainty makes your brain sexy.
• Language is a funny thing. Sometimes you understand it and know exactly what it means and sometimes it makes those weird twists and becomes something else entirely.
• I shall slip unnoticed through the darkness... like a dark, unnoticeable slippy thing.
• It's like trying to find a need... no, not a needle, something smaller than a needle, in a haystack, when you don't even know if you're in the right field.
• Ha! You may think I'm a hardhearted black sock, but underneath this dark woolly exterior is a naked pink foot.
• Never put off 'til tomorrow what you can do the day after.
• My mum always said: 'It's a dog-eat-dog world, son. You get them before they get you. Eat your greens. Stop embarrassing me in front of the neighbors. Maybe it would best if you leave home and never come back!' She wasn't even my real mum. She bought me from a man.
• You can't run away from home without destroying someone's world.
• We'll do things that rich people do. We'll bathe in... fish. And eat our weight in chocolate buttons!
• I'm sorry, but all in all, it is completely, utterly, unarguably, quintessentially hopeless.
• Don't let them see you're afraid.
• Sometimes, you just have to say sorry.
• Remember what your mother said.
• You'd have made a lousy waiter.
• I wasn't worried until you told me not to worry.
• How do you know if you're happy or sad without a mask? Or angry? Or ready for dessert?
• I have a face.
• We used to have a marvellous sun, shone like anything, all over the place. Once we had days, nights... With suns and moons and all those little twinkly things. But those days are gone.
• In the beginning, she found herself in a new and empty space. And all was white, and the corners were a bit flaky, and the carpet was a bit manky... but it was a good space.
• Why don't you look out of the window?
• The charges are laid, the fuse is lit, the conversational excavation under way.
• It's just the interminable ravings of an unsound and enormous mind, I expect. Very big. Not very bright.
• Remember, I don't know what I'm talking about.
• You were right, and I was not as right as you were.
• The main character can't handle real life, and the male lead is a very important man. He has a tower.
• There are words to describe the greatness of madness, but they are the Mad Words, and this way of communicating is incapable of reproducing them. Because the Mad Words cannot be reproduced, only spoken from the lips of the truly mad.
• Look! An idiot!
• A rich imagination is not unhealthy! Contrarywise, it makes me prepared for dangerous situations. If we were to be invaded by little blue men with an obsession for spoons and sentences about masks, who do you think would survive their army of giant pink rhinos?
• This one time I found a toad in a bucket. It was dead.
• CatMan is really a cat, man.
• Sweet sleep! Enshroud me in thine fogencumbered wreath. Oh! To forget the world, and all of its dealings! Sleep, here I present myself to worship you. Come quickly, sweet Nemesis, I beg of you.
• That's the funny thing about words. They're not mine. They're never mine. At least... not entirely.
• Ugh... I like GUIs...
• Goodbye, Haydrahliene...
• No time, no time... never any time...
• Hands for the world, hands for spite.
• Never trust a man who knows only truth; he will try to tell it to you, and it will all be wrong.
• The entire room is alive, full of chatter and light and life, excitement and bemusement and complete and utter disparity. It is a grand room, this atrium. A grand room.
• I didn't mean anything. Even when I told the honest man I loved him, all I meant was love.
• There is always hope, even when it's cruel.
• Unfortunately, I fail at failing at failure.
• We still remember, even if the memories aren't even our own...
• Anything can always become something somewhere. Nothing is just a dream dreamt by people who cannot imagine everything.
• And then, without any warning, there were tentacles everywhere.
• Surely the point of inside is to find a way out... and surely the point of outside is to find a way in.
• From freedom comes elegance.
• From freedom comes laziness.
• Life... loath it or ignore it, you can't like it.
• What happens if the Old Gods perish? Does the song die with them?
• The blood is the key. The blood is always the key.
• Perhaps I should have killed it while it slept.
• He dashed his head on the wall. Odd. Don't all living beings strive for survival?
• Interesting, yes... lots of mad people questioning madness. Some plead sanity, some insanity, but neither group really know what they're talking about.
• Every room has a door. At least... some of the time.
• My hovercraft is full of eels.
• Yes, we have no bats.
• Sometimes being a bitch is all a woman has to hang onto.
• Keep away! The sow is mine.
• Get away from my baby!
• Dead is the new Alive.
• The chickens are in the hayloft.
• The human body can be drained of blood in 8.6 seconds given adequate vacuuming systems.
• I remember everything. I remember too much, and... some of it's made up, and... some of it can't be quantified, and... there's secrets.
• Post-holer. Digging holes for posts.
• Two by two. Everyone has a match, a mate, a doppler. I love you.
• Bible's broken; contradictions, false logistics. Doesn't make sense.
• 'Day' is a vestigial mode of time measurement based on solar cycles. It's not applicable...
• They're doing it backwards, walking up the downslide.
• Sun came out, and I walked on my feet and heard with my ears. I ate the bits, the bits stayed down, and I work. I function like I'm a girl. I hate it because I know it'll go away. The sun goes dark and chaos has come again. Bits. Fluids. What am I?!
• My food is problematic.
• They say the snow on the roof was too heavy. They say the ceiling will cave in. His brains are in terrible danger.
• She understands. She doesn't comprehend.
• You've got issues. ...You talk too much.
• How fine you look when dressed in rage. Your enemies are fortunate your condition is not permanent. You're lucky, too. Red eyes suit so few.
• Only the insane equate pain with success.
• Here's a riddle: When is a croquet mallet like a billy club? I'll tell you: Whenever you want it to be!
• Were you impolite at table? Did you slurp your tea? Or talk while chewing? Confess your crime.
• I'm afraid I have to expel a rather ferocious hairball. You're on your own, girl.
• Every adventure requires a first step. Trite, but true, even here.
• Off with her head. Off with her head. Off with her head! Off... with... her... head. Off with her head. Off with her head. Off with her head. Off with her head.
• Your interference will not be tolerated.
• Raw, well-ordered, ruthless, careening off the jagged edge of reality.
• Retreat into the sterile safety of your self-delusions or risk inevitable annihilation.
• The uninformed must improve their deficit or die.
• If you knew time as well as I, you wouldn't dream> of wasting it!
• I'm not edible.
• This was ridiculous. The last thing he needed now was to be killed. It would require all sorts of explanations. They didn't hand out new bodies just like that; they always wanted to know what you'd done with the old one. It was like trying to get a new pen from a particularly bloody-minded stationery department.
• The nice thing about using your own code is you can code in whatever functionality you want. The problem with using your own code is that whenever you encounter a limitation in the functionality, it's your own damn fault.
• And then the blackness behind the Universe exploded, and each particular piece of blackness was the furious smoke of hell. And the nothingness behind the blackness behind the Universe erupted, and the nothingness behind the shattered Universe was at last the dark figure of an immense man speaking immense words.
• Chicago happened slowly, like a migraine.
• 'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
  Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
  All mimsy were the borogoves,
  And the mome raths outgrabe.
• Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds himself no wiser than before. He is full of murderous resentment of people who are ignorant without having come by their ignorance the hard way.
• You're no help," he told the lime. This was unfair. It was only a lime; there was nothing special about it at all. It was doing the best it could
• He was wearing yesterday's clothes, and he wished he wasn't. His mother had always told him to wear clean underwear, in case he was hit by a car, and to brush his teeth, in case they needed to identify him by his dental records.
• For animals, the entire universe has been neatly divided into things to a: mate with, b: eat, c: run away from, and d: rocks.
• The consensus seemed to be that if really large numbers of men were sent to storm the mountain, then enough might survive the rocks to take the citadel. This is essentially the basis of all military thinking.
• They'd come here too spoon and, on one memorable occasion, fork.
• There was an unconnected fax machine with the intelligence of a computer and a computer with the intelligence of a retarded ant.
• It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.
• Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.
• When Mister Safety Catch is not on, Mister Crossbow is not Your Friend.
• Give a man a fire and you warm him for a day. But set a man on fire and you warm him for his lifetime.
• Most people don't realise how important librarians are. I ran across a book recently which suggested that the peace and prosperity of a culture was solely related to how many librarians it contained. Possibly a slight overstatement, but a culture that doesn't value its librarians doesn't value ideas and without ideas, well, where are we?
• Ah! But we have, in our dreams," answered the children; and the Mathematical Master frowned and looked very severe, for he did not approve of children dreaming
• Of course this is happening inside your head, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?
• I lost some time once. It's always in the last place you look for it.
• Have you ever had one of those days when something just seems to be trying to tell you somebody?
• Being in love was like China; you knew it was there, and no doubt it was very interesting, and some people went there, but I never would. I'd spend all my life without ever going to China, but it wouldn't matter, because there was all the rest of the world to visit.
• There was blood all over my penguins. I didn't give a damn about the walls and carpet. They could be replaced, but I'd collected those damned stuffed toys over years.
• But we who know life naturally don't care one ounce about numbers!
• You exist, without name, without form. You cannot see the light of day; you cannot see the dark. You sold the green earth and the sun and stars to save yourself. But you have no self. All that which you sold, that was your self. You have given everything for nothing. And so now you seek to draw the world to you, all that light and life you lost, to fill up your nothingness. But it cannot be filled.
• Not all the songs of earth, not all the stars of heaven, could fill your emptiness.
• By the way, I'll tell you that in Belgian Congo there's not a single person who tells the truth. They just lie all day long. Start at seven in the morning and keep at it until nightfall. So if I lie a little now and then, it's just because I've spent a little too much time in Belgian Congo.
• Only a fool thinks he knows what is in a woman's mind only because she's smiling.
• Fat Charlie wondered what Rosie's mother would usually hear in a church. Probably just cries of 'Back! Foul beast of Hell!' followed by gasps of 'Is it alive?' and a nervous enquiry as to whether anybody had remembered to bring the stakes and hammers.
• Most books on witchcraft will tell you that witches work naked. This is because most books on witchcraft are written by men.
• You don't notice the dead leaving when they really choose to leave you. You're not meant to. At most you feel them as a whisper or the wave of a whisper undulating down. I would compare it to a woman in the back of a lecture hall or theatre whom no one notices until she slips out. Then only those near the door themselves, like Grandma Lynn, notice; to the rest it is like an unexplained breeze in a closed room.
• But damn, Hester, you don't hit a drunk man with a stick.
• He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it.
• The most important thing isn't to never fall down. The most important thing is to always get back up.
• My name is Indigo Montoya. You killed my father; prepare to die.
• The big ships hung in the air, just like a brick won't.
• She says nothing at all, but simply stares upward into the dark sky and watches, with sad eyes, the slow dance of the infinite stars.
• Books are mirrors: you only see in them what you already have inside you.
• You're in a bad mood. But I suppose being stabbed twice in the same night with your own knife would do that to anybody.
• All that is gold does not glitter, not all those who wander are lost; the old that is strong does not wither, deep roots are not reached by the frost. From the ashes a fire shall be woken, a light from the shadows shall spring; renewed shall be blade that was broken, the crownless again shall be king.
• It takes a very special and very strong-minded kind of atheist to jump up and down with their hand clasped under their other armpit and shout "Oh, random fluctuations-in-the-space-time-continuum!" or "Aaargh, primitive-and-outmoded-concept on a crutch!"
• What I want from you is... your voice.
• I'm not asking much! Just a token, really, a trifle! You'll never even miss it...
• Get thee to a nunnery!
• I was forging documents before your parents were born.
• Senseless violence, infliction of pain and control and death, general psychopathy, it is all very well and fine. But leave the cats out of it. The cats are sacred.
• There is a strange euphoria in remembering. It is... like dreaming.
• Hmm... let's see if the mongoose will take my madness gracefully...
• I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.
• Dry bones. Memory is dry bones... flesh it out as you go.
• We see patterns. We see what we know. What we think we know, what we want to know...
• To assume that the laws of nature are universal, that is a very large assumption.
• Maths. Just maths. Everything is maths.
• My hamster stole my brainses, love. My hamster did it.
• It's just a theory. Not a fact.
• It's just a fact. Not a theory.
• Neutrinos pass through everything, no matter how dense.
• Subtraction is dangerous.
• Operating under the assumption that the assumption is valid, the assumption is no more valid than the assumption that precedes it. Which assumption is valid?
• Reality is just a minor detail for you, isn't it?
• Thinking is the essence of humans.
• Reject everything. Deconstruct the world and only doubt remains. But doubt is the basis of thought, and thought is the basis of madness.
• Slug-racing is a sport.
• There aren't enough numbers.
• Suddenly, all the nonsense made sense. And all the sense made nonsense.
• All statements are true in some sense, false in some sense, meaningless in some sense, true and false in some sense, true and meaningless in some sense, false and meaningless in some sense, and true and false and meaningless in some sense.
• Analogue gave way to digital. It was large, bulky, superfluous... digital is small. Clean. Precise. Too precise. Suddenly everything is so very finite, and the superfluous from the analogue is missed... so don't define so precisely. Define the analogue in digital terms, but vaguely. Not how it is, but how to make it... and suddenly it is as if the infinite lives once more. Analogue lives once more.
• The internet is run by magic. Those hamsters you hear about, powering the servers? They're magic hamsters.
• I believe you have something of mine. My mind, where is it?
• Do what I want, not what I say!
• People are convinced that their experiences are real. This 'naïve conviction' only serves to alienate the reality of their experiences from others.
• Fred, shut up.
• I'd rather be happy than right any day.
• Was it worth the pain?
• How can something be listed vaguely in only precise terms?
• There is no story here.
• The reason that I don't use a yo-yo in my live performances is that my previous attempts at yo-yoing have ended with my being struck in the genitals by a yo-yo.
• At first I thought that the world was starting to go crazy; then I realized it was only because I hadn't been paying attention before.
• Consistency is key.
• Reality is subjective; that is the entire basis of the Madness. It would not work if the realities were shared, but then, if reality was shared, would there be any such thing as madness?
• Is leaving a toilet seat up the only way for a man to assert his masculinity?
• So what changed?
• It cost too much, staying human.
• Rained, rained, rained, and never stopped.
• Oh no, a logical thought, logical thought, banish it, banish it! And I like the Beatles.
• Every statement becomes more nonsensical if you say the word 'yes' after it, which makes no sense. Which is the point. To not make sense. Yes.
• Your pathetic façade is as transparent as the drool on your face!
• This is bigger than pizza! This is the fate of all mankind!
• I'm in a bear suit!
• Engineers like urns.
• Get off my head!
• I was a fairy princess once. Everything was so nice and peaceful... until it all went horribly wrong!
• Only the darkest souls from the worst pockets of hell would... decorate.
• According to scientists, in the beginning there was nothing, but later on something scientifically appeared.
• Nothing earns you geek points like installing Linux on a dead badger.
• Sleep... I remember sleep... maybe I should try that again sometime.
• There is evidence that our unconscious minds can be more effective at many tasks than our conscious minds. I put this to use by distracting my concious mind with snacks and puppet shows while making most of my important decisions.
• 'If only'... if only. Does it go the other way? Is that what people mean, 'only if'? Only if it had transpired thusly, things would have been better... but so many other factors could have improved them; they just didn't.
• There is no memory before forgetting. The aliens aren't real until you make them up.
• I believe in probability.
• Accurate spelling is a side effect of eating too much walrus butt.
• It's really hard to want to chase somebody who smells that bad.
• I sure like TV. And wearing pants.
• I could see the squirrels, and they were married.
• This space intentionally left filled by this message.
• Flash... bulb...
• There is a word that is left misremembered. It is a word born of spontaneity, spoken in the moment, offhand, irrelevant, astounding and odd. It is spoken; it is considered. It is remarked upon - 'that is a nice word' and there are affirmations all around... and then the topic shifts and it is forgotten. The word is left unremembered.
• I know nothing.
• You get that when you open a door that is not there with a key that does not exist...
• An engineer is a person who thinks the person to whom he is speaking is yawning a lot simply due to tiredness.
• We are very sophisticated. We have just proven that the expected value of 5 is 5.
• Cheese is so slippery...
• There are only three colours. All others are simulacra rendered of the three; natural wavelengths are impossible to simulate.
• I am Maxwell. I make multiple passes, building off what is there with each successive pass; the first is only the roughest of drafts, but then they build from the graininess to create something smooth and impeccable and grand. Leave me be, and I will go on indefinite. I am a renderer that exists only for a renderer's sake; all else is immaterial. Literally.
• What do you think science is? That's where the maths comes from.
• The road to truth goes through dreams and madness.
• A rain of cows!
• Illogicopedia is questionable.
• When it comes to words, I'm willing to assume quite a lot.
• Naïve Gaussian elimination - Gaussian elimination that works properly so long as nothing goes wrong.
• The madnesses of an unfettered mind are tantamount to silence.
• You could render the entire thing in vectors... but that would make for horrible animation.
• Hope is the best spice to bring out despair.
• Other people are not me. To be not me, all I need to be is someone else.
• Though they accuse me of lies, so does my grunteloid plop onto a roof tile.
• All good things come with strings.
• Foolish, foolish. Very foolish. Foolish meat things.
• There's... fragments. Bits and fluids. They don't fit together anymore. An apple, once chewed and swallowed, cannot be reassembled.
• Meat, blood, bones. Muscle. Fluids. Empty space. Bits and pieces. There's skin. Sinew. Organs. All making it up. All made up of even smaller things.
• His younch must be festering.
• How many unfinished projects do I have? How many unanswered dreams? What I am I forgetting?
• No matter how wise the question, the answer depends entirely on the mind of the answerer.
• Teetering on the edge of the funny farm, only music keeps the voices out.
• "Sounds like my kind of party," said the drat, and jumped over the edge of the punch-bowl.
• "I will do nothing!" she yelled defiantly, and ceased existing.
• I was pondering the wonders of evolution. If everything did come from goo, then how did it know to make eyes to see the light that it didn't know existed?
• This day will be devoted to silent study. I'll want to hear silence from all of you!
• 'Strange people,' thought Charles Rowland. He found himself wondering about insanity; but adults were strange, and he had few criteria by which to judge them.
• In satire, irony is militant.
• As my uncle braceforth used to say, 'There are very few problems that cannot be made beter with a night's sleep, breakfast, and a pickaxe.' He never went more than two miles from the warren in his life, but the principle still holds.
• That's none of your business!
• Who are you?
• Batteries included.
• I knew it was going to be in the last place I looked for it. So I looked there first!
• I think you're very nice. I think twinkle's a nice word. So's viridian. I met a lady once who had an imaginary fish.
• When you say words a lot they don't mean anything. Or maybe they don't mean anything anyway and we just think they do.
• I'm always afraid he's laughing at me. Behind his face.
• I came to see you. I mean I wanted to talk, too. Not just see.
• I was thinking. I can do that. Think. Still do that. I mean, even when I forget how to... how to... what was I saying?
• One day the Earth will hatch and a baby space whale will emerge from the shell.
• Sometimes, you have to live in your nightmares to overcome them. If you embrace madness, you can discover truths that are invisible to the eye clouded by logic.
• I don't conveniently forget anything. I just forget everything.
• Happiness will prevail.
• The frog, filled with joy, ran into the streets and was immediately hit by a car.
• Please don't sue us right now; our lawyer is passed out in an alley from too much moonshine, so please at least wait until he's found and doesn't have a huge hangover...
• I loathe bus stations. Terrible places, full of lost luggage and lost souls.
• Tell them to give them back to me. And give us somewhere the sun shines, and pony rides and ice-cream and a place to go...
• There are shadows on your heart. Dark ones, too...
• Are we planning on getting shot with arrows frequently, then?
• Of course we're planning on getting shot with arrows! Didn't you get the memo?
• Sorry, mom... I'll excavate it tomorrow...
• I feel like I've been run over by a mine cart. And the donkey it was attached to.
• Not that wombats would ever burn a witch, but someone would definitely come 'round and have a quiet word with their parents.
• Eh, done is done. The rock is split, might as well carve it as cry over it.
• No, there was an arrow hole in your shoulder. I had to make a much bigger hole to get the head out after those idiot veiled snapped the shaft off and got it lodged under your collarbone.
• Half the problem with arrows is the infections- arrow shafts are wood, and most wood soaks up bacteria like nobody's business.
• Why do they call it a 'brothel?' There's no broth. Or is there? And what, even, is broth? This has always confused me.
• Oh, here I am! And there you are! You just disappeared. Well, no matter!
• It was magic, you know. But it sounds like he just fell asleep and is trying to cover it up. I should start using that as an excuse...
• You seem like a decent enough young man. If you decide to slaughter me out of hand, I'm sure you would at least inform me first, no?
• It used to get so quiet at the monastery that I would start screaming until one of the brothers came running. I would tell them that I was just checking. You never know, right?
• Now here in Ferelden, we do things right. We take our ingredients, throw them into the largest pot we can find, and cook them for as long as possible until everything is a uniform grey color. As soon as it looks completely bland and unappetizing, that's when I know it's done.
• He had a marvelous beard though. I'd never seen one before. I thought a squirrel had grabbed him by the chin.
• If they flew into the sky, they could live in the clouds.
• What would they eat in the clouds? There is nothing there but fluff and the occasional bird.
• Look, Fred. I'm an engineer. We engineers like to use very precise terminology when we talk about our thingamabobbers.
• Hurry up and wait.
• Sleep is when you close your eyes and lose consciousness. Or when you hit someone with a frying pan often enough, but not enough to kill 'em.
• Merciful mother of moles...
• It's a squash. I'm being attacked - or possibly romanced - by an angry squash.
• Git back, y' cursed veggie!
• They were particularly confused and awed by the vampire squash of the Balkans. Almost as much as the children-hunting fireflies of West Africa and the toe-nail eating ramanga of Madagascar. Before you get to worrying about the sanctity of your feet, normal people would be safe, as these vampires would only feast on the blood and toe-nail clippings of nobility.
• There's a coupla big watermelons over in t'west corner that I wouldn't want t'get behind me.
• There must've been a hole there in the wall!
• Well, thank you, sir, for saving me from the evil squash.
• There's something absurdly cheering about being attacked by a vampire squash. I mean, you gotta laugh.
• No one in their right mind could fail to be fascinated by the prospect of ditch digging.
• There's no such thing as a joyless root cellar.
• You know, just once I'd like to have a conversation with you that didn't raise as many questions as it answered...
• Cheri, it's not paranoia when even the vegetables are out to get you.
• I'm a demon! I'm a demon! Woo!
• Are there other demons? Do they come from dead birds? Can we find them? Will they eat shadows with me?
• I always aspired to be a dirt fish...
• Fire burn, but not being bad, just being fire.
• I just had a flashback to a set of speech-bubbles written in typewriter font. Voices in the dark, and the lefthand names of god...
• You know that little tingling sensation, that itch of foresight or sideways realisation at the back of your brain, that feeling when the hairs on the back of your neck rise and bits of your vestigial reptilian neuron-architecture start firing mad signals at the rest of your mind - the feeling when you realise something that you are so unsure if it could be possible you slide up to the idea sideways because you are afraid, if you look at the idea you have had face, on it might wriggle away? You know that feeling? Of realising something that is possibly nothing but might, might just come to be true?
• Ed is not trusting god rats.
• You said it, Ed.
• I'll bet you diamonds to dolomitic conglomerates!
• Hmm. Well, demons are just the gods that your gods tell you are evil, really. And the gods are your gods because they got there first.
• Gods big things, not safe.
• And so we shouted our joy of life across the canvas of the world, that those who came after might share in the fullness of our lives.
• Gastropodz rule.
• Digging beats fishing a spear out of your spleen any day.
• Goodness, is that my pickaxe in your gut? And is this your pickaxe in my eye?
• Look, if you're expecting me to apologize for damaging a family heirloom, let me just point out that you were trying to skewer me with it.
• There ought to be laws against smugness.
• You know... once you get used to the searing pain, the flashing colors are really quite pretty...
• "It's okay," she told herself, "I've just gone mad is all. A little caffeine will fix it up nicely."
• Remember your roots.
• Jane Fonda must wear a hat at all times.
• But how could I forget? Nothing I remember is real.
• Nothing happens, nobody comes, nobody goes, it's awful!
• The sight of a statue of Ganesha gracefully sliming its way up the street at a stately two miles an hour, dispensing infinite unconditional compassion and a fine antiseptic mucus as it went, would be a sight to see.
• I'll kill it! I'll break its face and feed it gravel through a straw! I'll - I'll - ! I will construct its dwelling using inferior materials!
• Gods are just no match for doctors.
• So they sat down in the dirt, and they cried, cried cried - But we whacked 'em with our shovels and they died, died, died... They said the stuff was good enough; they lied, lied lied.
• Trawling the archives is neat. It's like walking through a cavern where past explorers have scrawled on the walls as they went.
• Scrawled little arrows in different coloured chalk... and maybe the occasional suggestive limerick, as well.
• Are all of your people so tactless, or just you?
• Never trust anyone who speaks typewriter.
• Wait - the men whose skins you were... when they died, did their shadows become deer?
• Never mess with someone who specializes in comparative mythology and hand-to-hand combat. Or the The dark secrets of sorcery, necromancy, and accounting.
• I do not doubt that they would skin us, but they do not seem to mean any harm by it.
• It was a good cave. Wombats, for the most part, prefer burrows to caves for actually living in, and natural caves back home are generally treated as parks. Other than shoring up the unstable bits, we don't alter them much, so it's not the sort of place you'd want to retire. But it'd be a nice spot for a picnic, if you ignored all the weird little lizards who want to skin you as politely as possible.
• Bound gods are pretty rare, but they're a pain when you find them. Generally we don't cut them loose - presumably if you've been bound in the bowels of the earth with a giant serpent dripping poison into your eyes, somebody had a damn good reason - but trying to work around them is always tricky, and we don't bother unless the mineral deposits are really impressive.
• The Darkness is still Shining. Like Black Suns, like Fireflies of Enormous Size, like the Droppings of the Rhino that Ate the Moon.
• Your metaphor's two stories tall and has ropes wrapped around it.
• As my mother used to say: 'If you didn't want to go swimming, you shouldn't have tunnelled under the lake!'
• If it is decided that I may continue to hunt you, I will tell you first.
• Always double-check your math if there are explosives involved.
• Beams of darkness streak across the sky, signals from the ancient satellite.
• Interesting how 'trying to kill and eat someone' can after time become 'initial unpleasantness'.
• Being good, explaining badly, is still better than being evil and is explaining well!
• I like him. His spine sounds like daffodils.
• They're quicker'n a greased porpoise in a sea 'o snot!
• Squithmpglugh: The sound of a large gourd committing a kamikaze assault. Difficult to render phonetically at the best of times.
• Maybe if you're an evil vampire vegetable, you're happy to go out in the act of bludgeoning someone to death.
• Man, you lead one problem into a field of killer squash, and it only makes more problems...
• Narrowly escaping death through a clever use of undead vegetables...
• You'll have to go about ninety miles east, to Khalighat, for the nearest smiting god. If you like, I could lend you a metaphorical pigeon, or perhaps move a boulder out of your way if you don't mind meditating as I give you strength before doing the actual pushing with your own paws.
• What good is a god that doesn't fossilize?!
• We cannot plant tomatoes in that corner, or they grow little antlers and fight each other. I will not risk eggplant. It's lettuce or nothing, I fear.
• Oh, thank goodness. You'd hate to sit on a dead saint.
• I could get in your head if you want, but it looks kind of crowded. I'm amazed there's room for you in there.
• How do you know if something can talk? What if it only talks under certain specific circumstances, like if you dance with it under the third full moon of a new century in the rain?
• Everything is approximate. Each new approximation improves upon the last, but it is still an approximation, based upon a balance of what we want, what we notice, and what the platform is even capable of.
• Haydrahlienne. Haydrahlienne. Who are you, Haydrahlienne?
• My heart is in a jar upon the wall. Where is yours?
• Lighting never was my strong point.
• Blast those engineers! They control the structures of the world, and yet what do they do with it? Nothing! Nothing at all!
• Think about... er... moles. Yes. Nice moles. With velvety snouts and soft fur. Happy moles. Gamboling in a tunnel. I'm in my happy place. With moles.
• Oh, deary me, I seem to have gone deaf from the neck up.
• You shouldn't eat anything that talks, unless it was already dead and its relatives ask you to do so.
• Hangover? Suffering Hypervitaminosis A poisoning? Vomiting? Gods got ya? Got that just-went-to-a-party-reeking-of-warrior-herds-then-got-shitfaced-on-mead-and-sleapt-it-off-on-the-floor smell hanging around your fur? Feel like a family of incontinent ferrets did the same thing then slept in your mouth? Convinced someone lodged your own pickaxe in your head? Trying to explain comparative ethics to a sentient shadow whilst coming down after mixing alcohol, testosterone-boosting herbs and unrefined opiates? Birds singing far too loud whist the day DARES to be anything other than overcast? Try new aspirin-flavoured Mountain Dew! For the wombat on the go!
• Life was a lot easier when I just wanted to be a bird.
• Hey! I'm ordinary as dirt!
• Before we had awesome game controllers, we had sheep's knuckles.
• Don't look at me. Stupid map doesn't even tell you how the air is supposed to smell.
• Gag me with a spoon!
• My darling, my carrion-scented flower, you gnaw my liver...
• Let us enter into a binding legal contract together until the stars fall from the sky, as determined in subparagraph F, section 12!
• Yup, they'll get along like a house on fire. In the middle of an earthquake.
• Unless you desire, deep down in your heart (or liver), to be French, end sentences with prepositions whenever you feel like it.
• It's not just you, the ceiling really is melting.
• I ate its shadow! It was flaky and moist!
• 'Data' is plural.
• Destiny: the annoying supernatural obstructive bureaucrat whom you want to punch but can't so instead you set its paperwork on fire and do things your way.
• What does this show? Not only does destiny know where you live, but she'll invent whole new breeds of oracular mollusks to trick you into opening your door to her.
• Do you have my Muskox? I can't find it. I'm starting to wonder if the manhole swallowed it, or maybe the moles? Anyway, I can't find it, and it annoys me.
• That... rock... looks nothing like a bunny. Neither does that one. What are the odds?
• Why, oh, why is a sock worthy of note? Do peacocks wear socks?
• It is a well known that socks, left untended, develop all kinds of life. Perhaps when it's been left for a few centuries it's congealed into something with a soul. Although what could cause a sock to have shadows on it's soul is beyond my ability to guess.
• Overshadowed by a sock. Destiny is harsh.
• I ate a sock! It had a shadow and everything! I think it was probably really dirty. It put up a fight, but it couldn't talk. I asked twice. I was very careful.
• The meologists made their way across the dusty plains, guided by the single shape in the distance... "There, Wadsworth, do you see it? The EGO."
• Heavenly voices make undecipherable noises.
• Living in dreams isn't too bad, really, so long as you remember to wake up to eat... and sleep.
• The whole world felt like an impending cave-in.
• A friend might put a spear in your heart, but only an enemy will tell you it's for your own good.
• Seriously, crawdads?
• I have fifty books holding up my potted plant at home.
• There's only one way to test this. Add a line.
• מנא ,מנא, תקל, ופרסין
• Public service announcement: The strange smell in this area is coming from this plant. It is not related to the personal hygiene of the Unix team.
• I'm afraid you'll never get home. Your knuckles will bleach on the prairie, and mum and dad will cry till they drown, and there'll be nothing left at all, and later the hyenas will howl over the whole thing.
• What are the mathematics of tears?
• I could say that 'talks with the fish people are floundering', but that would be wrong.
• A man makes his own density.
• My grandfather dwells within a rock shaped like a rucksack. My grandfather sits inside a rock, far inside our tunnel, boy how I wonder what on earth he's doing in there.
• We hope you do not die horribly. No. It would be hard to collect your skins. Very. Yes.
• Grim Eyes, I love you, but you don't have the brains the Gods gave an eggplant.
• Twelve thousand years: It might sound like quite a mouthfull, but it still isn't long enough to make a good rock.
• In the early days of home computers, programmers with bad haircuts and thick-rimmed glasses had to come to grips with each of the computer's components.
• This user does not speak Userbox and furthermore believes Userbox to be an embarrassment to language. This user desires genocide of all speakers of Userbox.
• It's a bug on a stick!
• It will be well. You'll see. Here, you can hold my bug.
• We all need someone who will let us hold their bug.
• Count on you to find the cloud around the silver lining.
• There's not really a plan, but let's pretend there is one anyway to confuse people, myself included.
• All I can see is death.
• I have worn so many masks... I have forgotten which one is my real face.
• The universe is perfect. Mess with it at your peril.
• Fear drives the universe.
• Dreams aren't glowing lights. They're a random firing of stray neurons, strung together and given whatever patina of guilt or fear or lust or joy that our subconscious cares to dole out.
• What are the ten radical isotopes?
• No plan survives contact with life.
• Reality is wider than a single mind.
• And what will you put your faith in? Certainly not something so simple or unknown as the human mind; that is no more sensible that any other fallacy. But without our fallacies, what have we? Objects shall fall upwards, perhaps? Effect precedes cause... but of course it does. I am standing on my head because you are about to dare me to do so. I trust you to be you.
• I've received twelve urgent messages while you were dithering about.
• I'm busy saving the world from bluetooths, thankyouverymuch!
• Make good fertilizer, t' vampyres do.
• Golden rule of Uncyclopedia: never take on an administrator. There are certain sysops on Uncyc you simply don't want to mess with.
• In the eye of the storm, there is no way out, no escape.
• Crisp as a cracker.
• You can lie down on a bridge and watch the water swim by. Or run, or wade through a marsh in your new red boots. Or huddle together and listen to the rain falling on the roof. It's very easy to have a good time.
• Everything he said sounded wise and sensible, but later on, when you were alone again, you wouldn't understand what he had meant, and it was too embarrassing to go back and ask him.
• The other day Kilimanjaro moved almost two centimeters. That was an action it had dreaded for almost a million years, at least.
• One should never be thanked for one's duty.
• Unmatched sets. Pieces that don't go to anything in particular...
• The Madness is a collection of quotations from an unwritten story - the unwritten story that is the compilation of all other stories, written and unwritten.
• All who gain power are afraid to lose it.
• Over time you will evolve into a cartoon character.
• My code does not have bugs. It just develops random features.
• Keep treating someone like they're normal, and eventually, they may turn out to be normal.
• Well, this is just depressing. I keep finding things in my garden of remembering and I can't remember what they are.
• Take my advice. I don't use it anyway.
• The trick for a lot of writers is to create a state of mind where you are not thinking about writing. Rather create a state of reverie, a dream state. Dreams are where other people escape from reality. But for the writer dreams are reality.
• I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity.
• No excellent soul is exempt from a mixture of madness.
• I've wrestled with reality for thirty-five years, doctor, and I'm happy to state I finally won over it.
• Only the shallow know themselves.
• Death is cold and empty and full of cheese waffles.
• Santa Claus remains terrifying until children are about 3 years old.
• Muses go splat.
• As they used to say of Carlos Santana: "Predictable, no. Recognizable, yes". In Santana's case it was meant as a compliment.
• Light and Darkness are Eternal. Nothing probably goes on forever, too.
• She's climbing the wall again, nevermind all the playground equipment behind her.
• WARNING: CONTAINS COLOURS THAT MAY HAVE AN ADVERSE AFFECT ON ACTIVITY AND ATTENTION IN CHILDREN
• By God, we're the lamest aliens ever.
• Yes, very tragic. Completely dead. No chance of ever finding him alive.
• The fallacy of the mind. It only happens to them. We are immune. We are objective. We are not doing precisely what we say is characteristic of them in saying that is it characteristic of them.
• I used to want you dead. Now I just want you gone.
• You keep what you kill.
• Sometimes you have to drop a bomb on civilians to bring folks to the table.
• If you are to be our voice, you must know our history.
• Tell the spiders I don't want to tapdance!
• What's the point of being better than everybody else if nobody else sees it?
• I like my men like how I like my coffee - COVERED IN BEES.
• We all lose our charms in the end, but diamonds... diamonds are a girl's best friend.
• It is a well-known fact that a dog made of diamonds is a human's best friend.
• I only speak the truth.
• It's a paradox, you idiot. There is no right answer!
• There is a later class called 'ethical hacking' that explores this further. Should you take this and subsequently find yourself needing to be bailed out of prison, we don't know you.
• C and C++ are the chainsaws of the programming world.
• People are always unhappy, and always dying.
• The Greeks had it right. Gods are messed up.
• Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies.
• Computers are rote learners. That's why they can't solve problems.
• A common man marvels at uncommon things; a wise man marvels at the commonplace.
• Enlightened trial and error wins out over lone genious.
• Beliefs and desires are information, incarnated as configurations of symbols.
• AI? What's intelligent about it? Might as well call it 'Artificial Stupidity'.
• Meaning can cause and be caused.
• Goat-wolf-cabbage: possible, though difficult for the human mind to work out. Goat-wolf-vampiric-cabbage: no solution.
• We're rich. We don't care.
• The computer is about as stupid as it can be, blindly following direction. It is the perfect pet. It is a horrible assistent.
• Computers are monumentally stupid.
• It doesn't matter whether or not the moon is made out of cheese, just if the dog is pretty.
• It's not that way because someone hated you long ago; there was an actual reason for all of this. Really.
• C doesn't like you, but it is a libertarian programming language. If you want to check for something, you go right ahead, but if you didn't, well, it's not going to help you. If you'd wanted to check for that, you would have.
• From freedom comes the power to ruin yourself.
• Art? What do you mean? This is a table.
• Casting means telling the computer, "Shut up, I know what I'm doing."
• Opening a jar of a new brand of peanut butter will not vaporise the house.
• A broken clock is right twice a day.
• Notice: after noticing this notice, you will notice that this notice was not worth taking notice of.
• NANs are like zombies. Do any operation with a NAN and it becomes a NAN.
• I don't like being adaptive and flexible. Why would I want my computer to be?
• Zeros will always look like zeros.
• The x86 is a disgusting cesspool of computer design.
• They're trying to save you money. No fancy lobby, no elaborate welcome... no working computers.
• It isn't so much a matter of having dexterity as being able to use whatever dexterity you have.
• I like talking about my pain because it pisses the pain off.
• In life, there are few simple answers. There are, however, many simple solutions - solutions that are, naturally, utterly hateful.
• You are an awful person, and I'm going to name a tomato after you. As penance.
• 'Load effective address long' - this is such a silly name; it has almost nothing to do with loading. It just means 'do some maths'.
• It's turtles all the way down.
• Your object of intent was to take of the world, was it not? Did you enlist the help of the ducks?
• Everybody lives alone.
• I am the catfish man I can't hear you!
• It probably won a prize.
• Once we have an explanation - correct or incorrect - we are complacent, at least for awhile.
• Hello, do I smell a fairy?
• All is well in the world of Rhin.
• I'm going to go lie on the asphalt.
• A verse was retooled into a bridge.
• There will be expectations.
• There are always expectations.
• Square waves, square waves, I follow them with square waves.
• The cords are modular.
• The square root of rope is string.
• According to the most advanced algorithms, the world's best name is Craig.
• During their lifetimes, 1 in 6 children will be abducted by the Dutch.
• Cumquat.
• Today is tomorrow.
• Tomorrow is yesterday.
• We're so transparent, we're practically invisible.
• I want to use my mental powers for the important things, not fritter them away on the mechanics.
• We call them 'windows'. They aren't unusual.
• Never put off 'til tomorrow what you can put off 'til today.
• You underestimate computers. They've only been around 40-50 years... we've had thousands to figure out what we're doing. Of course they're not up to our level of comprehension.
• It's slower, if by 'slower' you mean your rocket won't explode and fall out of the sky.
• I have some conspiracy theorists waiting for you in my closet.
• Telling people to 'conserve energy' is like telling them to make time go forward. Time always goes forward, and energy is always conserved.
• Voting is in effect until the Foundation decides sufficient time has been wasted.
• With roses made from madness his garden there was made, a blue world riding on the words of the dreamer's subconscious lust.
• My pain belongs to the divine. It is like air. It is like water.
• You blew up your own shop?!
• In the old days, insane men wore blocks on their heads to be easily distinguished from theologians.
• One is full of disorder and chaos and lawn gnomes. The other is order and space and half-baked plans.
• We have rights, Ben, including the right to be as stubborn or thick-headed as we want.
• I'm not sleeping. I'm checking my eyelids for holes.
• Circle to circle, the ends cannot hold. But it doesn't matter. There are no ends to dreams, not that cannot come around once more. Now I'm going back there and I'm taking you with me, and we are going to do what should have been done all along. We are going to find the most perfect possible future... even if it is really only the past.
• I'm charging by the head for this function, and you do have a head. For now.
• I remember asking for a violin, but I don't remember knowing what one was. I might have thought it was a kind of pony, for all I know, but I don't remember being disappointed.
• Just because his eyes are closed doesn't have to mean he's dreaming. And just because they're open, doesn't have to mean he's not.
• This is a day of goats.
• A bird lands on a man's head, steals his hat, and moves this hat to another man. Hence, the messenger pigeon is born: born to be bred, raised, and trained to live a controlled disturbing life under the control of humans.
• Exercise makes me sweat.
• Darkness only shines in the light.
• Light only shines in the darkness. Innocence is simply an excuse for the guilty.
• Stars are the real Time Lords.
• Why, I'm just a wayward deresi, lost in a far-off land... and you, old man, what are you, but the fool who fell for her ravening dreams?
• So.
• One thing is certain: we're losing the peace. Which means a war might be our only hope.
• The dress is fine. I don't like you.
• It only works if folks say what they mean. How do you parse a metaphor?
• It was fast because they basically kept pouring in more bottles of go faster.
• I had to have her. And her vegetables.
• Ah, the 60s... when the Ruskis were still trying to blow us all up, instead of trying sell us porn.
• The operating system said, 'Oh, you naughty boy,' and killed it.
• Levels of abstraction. We need to abstractify the abstraction again - represent the analog in digital so we can re-render it as analog. With digital.
• Pegasus, the one-eyed wonder fish.
• More insidious than a creeping mediawiki...
• There's no profit in jealousy.
• Study fine art... hate art forever.
• Heed the words of the Prophets.
• You are the dreamer. And the dream.
• Sometimes, you see a story, and you dream it. You become the story.
• The dirty man has a hat.
• We completely ignore the metaphors. But are these novel metaphors, or common lexical forms?
• Illogic gate.
• They didn't know what else to do but throw more junk into it.
• Suffering is important in a honeymoon.
• Yakka foob mog. Grug pubbawup zink wattoom gazork. Chumble spuzz.
• I'm being invaded by a cat. She's small, black, and quite stupid. And determined to assault my lap with pokes.
• We want to be able to get more work done in a shorter time so we can be sloppy.
• Oh, come on! He only won because he didn't die first. Anyone can do that.
• I opened his heart with a scissors. Had to see what was inside.
• This kind of stack is also known as an execution stack, control stack, run-time stack, or machine stack, and is often shortened to just "the stack".
• Wait, let me think... was I alone in Solitary? Why yes, I think I was.
• I had predicted and planned out courses of action for every possible outcome, save one: success. As a result I had no idea what to do about it when it came.
• C code. All this for C code.
• During the Reckoning, the people will either suffer terribly or eat fruit.
• I'm your mother! I can't leave you alone.
• People who are fine don't write on walls.
• The best ideas often come at inconvenient times.
• I don't understand you. I poke you and you do one thing. I poke you again and you do another. Then you start doing what you were doing all along all over again.
• We're all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it Love.
• In choosing the color of a single toolbar on one of its sites, Google served up pages with 41 different shades of blue to see which one people were most likely to click on.
• Just put your favourite dead squirrel out on the street and watch what happens.
• And then you have Hell, which is always so much more interesting than Heaven.
• I'm not a god, I'm a security officer.
• I'm sorry. It's just such an honour to be sitting here with a... security officer.
• Why be a god if there's noone to worship you?
• They are quick to judge and slow to forgive. They still have much to learn.
• When someone says it is 'for the good of the public', you know they're trying to pull one over you.
• The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law George. But unlike George, this plan just might work.
• Government euphemism is contemptible not because it is a form of mind control, but because it is a form of lying.
• A processor is not a little man, but something much stupider: a gadget with a fixed number of reflexes.
• Whereas the left hemisphere might appreciate some of Groucho's puns, and the right hemisphere might be entertained by the antics of Harpo, only the two hemispheres unified can appreciate an entire Marx Brothers routine.
• What is it for? Why, it could be for anything. Maybe it's just to look at, or to brighten a room, or to hold things in place. Maybe it sits on the lawn, taking up space over there in the corner, and people ask, 'why, what is this? Whatever purpose could it possible serve?' And that is its purpose. That is what it is for.
• 'Heuristic' - fancy word for 'guess'.
• I don't think I think as much as I think I think I like to think. I think?
• There will be duplicates and overlap, and there will be holes.
• People who find poop jokes funny have something wrong with their right brain.
• The memories are all mixed up in my head. I was remembering remembering a memory. It seemed like I was there because I was remembering remembering I was there. It's all so backwards.
• It is safer to work with a known conflict of interest than to deal with something for which the intent is unknown.
• The entire thing is like a salad. So I'm eating it like a salad: cold, and picking out the lettuce first.
• There he's being there on the ceiling there.
• The root of the matter is far simpler than you make it out to be. People are lazy. And idiots.
• When is a client a client?
• Aleister can't be bothered to look up the time and date, just an arbritary social agreement anyway. Squirrels, for example, don't have a concept of what day it is. Maybe they should, I dunno.
• He spread the warm bread with socks.
• The cats bake.
• My karma ran over my dogma.
• All life is suffering.
• Nobody should die on an empty stomach.
• Nobody expects the spanish legal system.
• Abuse no longer redirects to User:Spang.
• Do you think I'm so stupid I go out my own front door?
• In this part of the world, the children die before we do. We need to wait for them to die.
• We will talk about cows in chapter 9. Zombie cows.
• Don't stick the knife in the socket. Don't lick the flagpole. Don't fork the process. Except now that you've been told not to, you'll have to go off and do it.
• Your system is just chillin', you know?
• Not your momma's PhD.
• Hereabouts we have another name for the person who ignores his seat belt: the multiple-organ donor.
• The program will keep repeating 'yawn...' at five-second intervals until it is told to shut up already.
• All roads eventually lead to the Great Path. Many cross along the way.
• A lot of freaks, I hear. And people from Arkansas.
• Dead aliens off the set!
• The sentences didn't ruin the book for me. The book ruined the book for me.
• They told stories of a Wikipedia where policy pages were short and people were friendly.
• I've never shaved a moose.
• A whack of storage.
• Perception goes beyond the information given.
• Wikipedia is not concise.
• The best thing about killing Finnish people is that they scream with more vowels than people from other parts of Europe.
• The operating system is dumb.
• I didn't know what it meant. It was just glowy and fun and it felt like Christmas.
• I zatted a jaffa!
• You know, in some cultures, thinking with one's brain is considered an honourable thing to do.
• How can you regret losing a memory you cannot even remember?
• He was no dragon. Fire cannot kill a dragon.
• There is no "I" in team, but there is an eye in "eye surgery".
• Anyone who isn't us is an enemy.
• It's like a free ride when you've already paid.
• I am going to curl up in bed with the largest sandwich I can find.
• Welcome to the future! Nothing's changed.
• There is no point in trolling this wiki. It trolls itself.
• Who the hell bitches about intransitive verbs in order to fit in?
• Fish are terrible, horrible creatures and they should be exterminated from the face of the earth.
• Trust is hard to earn and easy to lose.
• I'd question why sociopathy is cool, but then again, I'm not that hip.
• Wear it like armour and it can never be used to hurt you.
• I like to take and sew my pants up with pudding.
• An advanced hypnotist may be able to summon a train out of a television program.
• I knew I shouldn't have named my cat 'Psychologist'.
• Is it a rabbit or a rock?
• The odds are good that the goods are odd.
• It's like... broken lightbulbs, fresh-cut grass, and the inside of a raisin, all bundled together.
• There is technically no medical condition called 'crazy'.
• Can mobile homes rampage?
• We all seem to have different ideas how things should be run. This is why humans invent gods to make decisions for them.
• Real men are supposed to use the command line.
• It is a simplification. A narrative fallacy.
• I am eat cow.
• Needs more cowbell.
• What is the history of history?
• Our modern virus epidemic is born of a symbiotic relationship between the people smart enough to write a virus and the people dumb enough to spread it.
• Anybody wanna help me milk my cat?
• Murdering people is heroic.
• I like her. She gave me the sky and asked nothing in return.
• When the Madwoman encountered MediaWiki, she realised it would make a marvellous new platform for a war. Years have passed, and she is still waiting.
• What is a database but data? Everything is data.
• I'm not a recluse. People just don't like visiting me.
• Everyone who disagrees is an idiot, a fool, unworthy. This is the human condition, to disparage instead of resolve.
• Assert anything and there will be a counterargument.
• Only once did I kill with meaning. Never again.
• May your feet find warm sands, your wings soft skies, your sails clears seas, and your path everlasting luck.
• Warm sands, soft skies, clear seas, and everlasting luck.
• It's indecent for your punctuation to run around topless.
• Can you help me?
• Damn that glue! I hope that doesn't happen during the wake.
• Never believe what you publish. Never publish what you believe.
• I could see a thousand dancing hamsters on the checkuser results and still think they were sockpuppets.
• You have all the weapons you need. Now fight.
• Accusations of admin abuse are usually correct; an admin is being abused.
• Sweet dreams are made of this.
• Go ask Alice. I think she'll know.
• Error 500 - Internal server error
• If you can remember the story, you can tell it.
• I feel like everything is wrong and I'm trying to ignore it.
• If you tell the story long enough, you become the story.
• I live in this nice dreamland where people use their brains.
• You've got demons in your closet.
• Die without regrets.
• You know what the music means.
• Every man has his price.
• The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of the expanding bureaucracy.
• I'm sorry this is so long. I didn't have time to make it shorter.
• I stopped fighting my inner demons. We're on the same side now.
• A middle-aged dentist with an ulcer is not exactly evil personified.
• I would suggest that everybody take a few days off from throwing things at each other.
• Demons I get. People are crazy.
• Revenge isn't worth much if you end up dead.
• What is wrong with me, mother? Something must be wrong! I wish...
• And how did you, having (I presume) never been here, come to know what this place is about? Do tell me, as I've long sought omnipotence.
• I am your mother! I don't have to be reasonable.
• Any company that makes the Queen's knickers deserves an article.
• You can expect a miracle, but in the meantime you have to work your butt off.
• You're a walking encyclopedia of weirdness.
• I'm Batman.
• I don't like being singled out at birthday parties, much less by God.
• People are people because they're miserable bastards and never get what they want.
• Kneel before Todd!
• Something is caught in my throat. I think it's my throat.
• Did you try turning it off and then on?
• Angels are like shady politicians from planet vulcan.
• The grey land is the dream land. The dream land is the empty land. Fill it with your heart, and fill it with your mind...
• Walk the dead streets and see what there is so see. Where is the mystery and where is the end?
• I wish this were a TV show.
• Fern is the lunatic at the end of the block with a goat and too many spatulas.
• They're not like the Loch Ness monster. Dragons aren't real.
• The recruiters who use "grep" to evaluate resumes seem to like it.
• If you want to find a good programmer, force them to use something incredibly stupid and make them do something ordinary. Then let them use something far more elegant and watch them create something extraordinary.
• Tear gas? No, it's cat food. Why do you ask?
• You, sir, are a credit to your trailer park.
• I have decided that I will no longer go down with my ships. I will merely convert them all to submarines and continue on.
• This is the imperative clue to solve the entire puzzle.
• Why do humans and moths behave differently?
• Why don't we just smell other humans?
• Throw it away, it's just a piece of rubbish.
• When a food is said to be a mosquito repellent, something's probably wrong with it.
• If you're going to use a copyrighted photo under fair use, you can at least find one with more than one pixel.
• With arbitrary lines drawn invisibly the boundaries are defined.
• Within madness words are key.
• All escape artists are claustrophobic. That's why we want to escape.
• There are many forms of alien, some more subtle than others.
• I do not think you want to know the answer. You are only asking for the sake of asking.
• Like cow.
• We're going to be corpses. Might as well be ridiculous-looking corpses.
• It's okay. We were all dragons.
• Why, everything I have told you is true. Even the lies.
• Interminably the madness looms outward, percolating with need.
• If only, if only, the woodpecker sighs, the bark on the trees were as soft as the skies...
• It can giggle all it wants, but the galaxy's not getting any of our bourbon.
• He's the Madgod. You expect it to make sense?
• Excuse me, have you seen Calufax? It's sort of a planet.
• Remind me to never ask a hippie for good ideas.
• It is the tortured who turn into torturers.
• I've just been wandering for awhile now, collecting baubles of shiny words...
• What do you call pictures in your head that you can't make go away?
• All secrets are deep. All secrets become dark. That's in the nature of secrets.
• Never trust a man with dirty fingernails.
• It helps if they think you're crazy. They don't argue.
• Scars remind us where we've been. They don't have to dictate where we're going.
• Madness is Forever.
• Thus is the evolution of presence.
• Do you think there is a story here, that if you keep turning the page, it will all become clear?
• There are no answers, only questions.
• There are no questions, only answers.
• The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.
• Bubbling upward, wobbling outward, a dream overtakes the bowl.
• I am become cat, destroyer of tuna.
• What's this "if" they get it wrong? "Wrong" has an established meaning on WP such that all decisions are wrong.
• "It's okay. We were all dragons."`
• Think of it as one giant rack for mankind.
• Research has shown that some men enjoy viewing women's breasts.
• Your first try should never be your last, especially if it succeeded. You can always succeed bigger next time.
• Too bad it isn't true.
• You have a secret.
• In this place of words, words are all we have. But so it is throughout, is it not?
• I will say this now and I will say it again, and I will damn well be consistent about it: consistency is key.
• You're so easy to read, but the book is boring me.
• They're a gift. It's rude to keep throwing them up.
• I'm a programmer. Of course I reuse code.
• I have a brick and I... don't know how to use it.
• It's part of a leaf in the tree that grows upside down.
• Welcome to the magical world of frictionless planes and perfect dictionaries.
• I am a fangirl; hear me SQUEE!
• I pay for your silence.
• You know you're doing something right when you tell someone you got a particular job and they just despair.
• I'm sorry to have inconvenienced you all so much by trying to be productive and helpful.
• You're very well groomed for a crazy person.
• Yes, nitpicking at someone when they're already annoyed is very helpful. Thank you.
• Think of... daisies! A field of daisies! With vampiric squirrels rampaging everywhere!
• Too fond of poetry, she weaves a web of lies so closely around herself that the role of spider and fly is made one...
• There is no such thing as justice. The best that one can hope for is revenge.
• Dreaming of the ideal, she fights for the impossible, leaving behind her a trail of disdain.
• I hate your logic brain.
• Our technology is so advanced it can often seem broken.
• Dreaming of the ideal, they fight for the impossible, leaving behind them a trail of blood and disdain.
• Despair is a boneless cat.
• You think of your user as a moronic knuckle-dragging idiot. And then there's the manager...
• I am willing to game the system. I am not willing to leave a paper trail showing that I gamed the system.
• Everything has a cost.
• Your sweet, sweet words turn into nothing more than bitter orange wax in my ears.
• The sentries won't mess up again now that they're dead.
• God made me an atheist. Who are you to question his wisdom?
• All standards are arbitrary. This is why they must be standardised.
• I happen to have this minor condition called limb amputation.
• I am truly sorry that I forgot to add a clause that clearly stated "please use common sense" when I wrote my proposal, I thought it was redundant.
• Be sure to follow all safety protocols... as soon as I make them up.
• We're talking about Lyrithya, here, not someone with a sense of decorum.
• I have to burn a hole in the fire.
• A chair never sits. It stands all its life. And the yellows crawl across the carpet...
• The dreams tend to gather there, you know. Well, the sleepy half of them, at least.
• Dad has a necktie, and the necktie is connected to the neck, and the neck is connected to the necktie.
• Deep in the earth are potatoes, and they talk and long for light.
• When we die we cannot breathe, for death is a tight sweather, and we become dust under the coach.
• I don't want to be dead. I want to be a firefighter.
• A hill goes both up and down. Simultanously.
• A little bird carries its legs where it goes, for only a bird can lift itself.
• The bottom of the sea is completely black, although it's only transculent water.
• Fish blink their eyes for they are always wet and you cannot see it when they cry.
• I'm stronger than a storm, for the storm can uproot a tree, but it cannot uproot the grass. I can.
• Light goes away, disappears in a black sea with little holes in it, and my shadow is everywhere and covers the world.
• This is the world, and the world is bigger than thousand and thousand and thousand huge mountains. But it fits within my mind all the same.
• My legs lift my stomach and my shoulders lift my head. The walls lift the roof and the trees lift the sky and the sky lifts the sun. But nobody lifts the worms in the ground. The worms in the ground must fend for themselves.
• Then the Thermonuclear Banhammer of Overreaction came down on all concerned.
• Perhaps I can fly when I sleep?
• Once upon a time I was a child. And once upon a time this book and this paper were but a thought in a head and a tree in the wood.
• The stones see everything; they've lived so long, so long. But they say nothing, for stones are tired and want only to sleep.The stones see everything; they've lived so long, so long. But they say nothing, for stones are tired and want only to sleep.
• The stones see everything; they've lived so long, so long. But they say nothing, for stones are tired and want only to sleep.
• I certainly hope I'm Gorr. I'm wearing his underwear!
• Something happened here but I have no idea what because there's too much scrollback.
• Hell is other people.
• The world of men is dreaming. It has gone mad in its sleep, and a snake is strangling it, but it can't wake up.
• 'Most' is a perfectly compelling statistic.
• Become a programmer, they said. It'll be fun, they said.
• And so the crazy refactoring process sees the sunlight after some months in the dark!
• Why do you hate the cache so much? The cache loves you, the cache does everything it can for you, and it has to go to work and tell its friends "oh, I just ran into a door".
• A vibrator is a vibrator is a vibrator, right? But that's not true at all. Everything is stuffed to the brim with ideas and love and hope and magic and dreams.
• I'm afraid this Really Useful Book isn't being terribly useful at the moment.
• Don't argue with them! It tends to be frustrating, and kind of like trying to explain advanced calculus to a hamster.
• To consume someone else's blood is to consume some vital part of his or her life. If you consume enough of their blood, you gain their "vital powers" (and, obviously, they die).
• Forsooth. Methinks yon lass hath a screw loose within her addled skull.
• All models are wrong, but some are useful.
• When dealing with clients, it's never quite clear if it's a bug or something they wanted.
• That's not important. I want scala. I want it!
• Then I returned to the world of the living, which has this horrible unfortunate thing called 'gravity'.
• 'Broken' has different meanings in different contexts.
• It is believed that souls are rather akin to stars - that they are simply patterns of dust that have over time emerged to form configurations of impossible brightness, repeating themselves throughout the universe.
• The dreamer is dead, and her dream died with her.
• Oh, I'm not a developer. I'm just insane.
• This guy is either an idiot or a genious. I like him.
• You take the servers. And you make more servers. And then there are servers.
• We don't want another cheap fantasy universe, we want a cheap fantasy universe generator. A lot of fiction sounds computer generated anyway.
• My love for you is like a rampaging elephant.
• The man has tenure. You can't make tenured professors do anything.
• We are Wikimedia. We are legion. We do not forget. We do not forgive.
• Only madness knows my name.
• Home systems will become more complex. Home users will not.
• I dream the dreamer's dream.
• You weren't here. But I talked to you. Isn't it wonderful to have friends? They stave off the voices that come with the solitude.
• If you need more than 3 levels of indentation, you're screwed anyway and should fix your program.
• My toes have curled in contempt and disgust.
• I looked to the future. There weren't none.
• I love it when you talk dirt.
• You think you've seen it all, and then someone raises a statement that's even more upsetting.
• Pointers are valuable and powerful and like giving a baby a pair of freshly-sharpened Japanese sushi knives.
• I want to see something uninspiring. Do your best to be uninspired.
• The light that emanates from my marvellous bust shall incapacitate my enemies with the fire of a thousand torches. Make peace with your gods, for I come to blind thy prying eyes.
• A life is no more than one drop in a limitless ocean. Yet what is any ocean but a multitude of drops?
• Truth is singular. Its 'versions' are mistruths.
• At least we should be fine until the country goes bankrupt.
• We don't need a three-way admin collision to show people that we are uncoordinated.
• We need to save ourselves from saving ourselves.
• This is the place to be for the end of the world show.
• There is a major issue here about forgetting. The whole of the law is to keep your story straight - you must remember this.
• Puking on the audience no longer in vogue.
• You're the Californian; doesn't everybody go to the beach?
• If these are bedclothes, then there must be bodies underneath. There's always a body somewhere.
• Why do we come this far and never farther? Why can't we climb the final stair? What would we see there if we could?
• This world has a basic circularity. Everything changes, everything comes around.
• This world, too, is not the one I dreamed.
• Take that memory and set it aside.
• You have 18 FOOD UNITS.
• If we are the branches of some great tree, and every bud is a decision, how does it grow?
• I have seen only darkness. I do not know the light; all I have is the faith that it is there.
• From womb to tomb, our lives are not our own.
• Our lives are not our own. We are bound to others. Past and present. And by each crime and every kindness we birth our future.
• Toilets in Japan are generally more advanced than toilets in other developed nations.
• It is not odd for Taiwan to host restaurants with unusual themes.
• Warning. This gallery is protected by fake video cameras.
• Something to express someone feeling totally impotent and ripping a hole in their roof out of a sense of impotence and anger and desperation...
• Even public dancing was allowed.
• I'm afraid we've all contracted an acute case of imbecillus. We'll have to amputate.
• The trick is not to come up with something that works well now; the trick is to come up with something that would be running six years from now given zero attention or support.
• As I've stated before, I'm not on Facebook and I have no friends.
• Better than a weekend attempting to shove large objects up Reginald's database in a flurry of overwhelming cheapness.
• It's like asking a junkie to do a chemical assay of heroin.
• We need more RAM on the Cloud. Download more RAM.
• I hope the place is at least livable now. Good luck with, your, um... murders.
• The only thing more vast than the staggering amount of knowledge is the staggering amount of ignorance.
• Worst god in ages. So bad she got kicked out of the God Impersonation Guild. Died too much.
• Everybody's crashing, running, calling out the coming of things they kind of can see. Someone said to me, "It's just a dream. Why don't you wake up and you'll see? It's fine."
• Tirna's me favourite god. She tried to kill everyone. I aspire to that.
• Probably I'll murder him one day. Maybe with a chair.
• Is it not strange, the evolution of time?
• We are not who we were.
• When I grew up I wanted to be a five-by-five dragonfly, but things went otherwise and today I am a memory instead.
• You could restart the server... instead of murdering it?
• Argentina is subject to a variety of climates.
• Mirrors. That would explain why you two get along like a pair of skritt in a house on fire in the middle of an earthquake.
• At first I was impressed that it had an API. Then I tried it.
• Those ponies are really vicious.
• For every decision there is consequence. With every kindness and every betrayal we define what is to come.
• Choice and consensquence. In life and in death this is all we have. There is no justice, no reward.
• Life is not fair.
• The only thing that is certain is dust. We are born from dust, we decay to dust. This is a universe of dust.
• Consider the order of things. Everything was placed here for a reason.
• The garden is a repository of masks, dreams, memories, and lichen-encrusted frying pans.
• It's like normal people don't like having grape jelly licked off their necks.
• The sample is deprecated.
• When people wonder why I don't like the guy, this is it.
• Something about penance for puppy dog eyes.
• You don't know me. Never have, never will.
• Speak loudly into the brick.
• Not compatible with LiquidThreads.
• Bats are eating my legs.
• When something means this much, we always return to it. It is always there.
• It takes the ham out of spam.
• Steal? What do you mean? Just creep in and have a go at taking it out.
• Mudcrabs know only hatred.
• Walk always in the light, or we will drag you to it.
• I'm not brainstorming, I'm having a brain hurricane.
• Only to return home to a country full of strangers wearing familiar faces...
• There's no glory in war. They only tell that to soldiers so they will risk their lives.
• I used to be an adventurer like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee.
• Dragons were never gone. They were just invisible and very, very quiet.
• Fish cannot breath peas. They truly are the worst fruit.
• We can't all be nectarines.
• Darkness rises when silence dies.
• Discipline in the lesser aids in denial of the greater.
• All we know anymore is pain and loss. What do we have left?
• All I cared about was riding narwhals and sleeping in honeycombs and drinking babies' tears.
• When life gives you lemons, go murder a clown.
• It puts the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again.
• You could just swing a pickaxe into someone's face, but people tend to see that coming.
• We are the chicken inside the egg, but also the dirt.
• I am well. I will be well. Well to be within a well.
• Its siren song keeps calling you back.
• If you love something, throw it at your enemies. If it cleaves their skull and comes back to you, you know it's yours.
• Boris's stomach was big enough that he couldn't really afford to be a picky eater. Instead, he cultivated a deep appreciation of simple gustatory pleasures - a side of beef, an entire wheel of cheese, a crate of bread.
• There is no justice, no reward.
• YOUR SKULL IS MIIIINE!
• Sleep is the cousin of death.
• Necromancy - a better way to dispose of bodies. Why drag a corpse into a river when you can make it walk itself?
• I guess this is what I get for adopting a pile of crazy dragons as my family.
• I like this world. I don't want it to end.
• One of the perks of being insane is you get to do whatever you want.
• The impossible will take a little while.
• I'll make a note not to do things that are wrong in the future.
• In the world we enter when we go online, there's little place for the fuzziness of contemplation.
• We came so far to see this, to read these words etched in 40ft letters into the stone of the earth itself. But though the letters are impressive, a feat for the ages, the words only leave us wanting. They are not what we expected, not what we sought all along.
• Everything is a bug.
• The plant does its own drangling.
• Do you know the meaning of light? It's dreaming, dear sister. Dreaming.
• I've beaten the archive table to death. I guess it's time to move onto revision...
• Show biz is such an exciting life. Some day we'll give in and try to experience it.
• They want two cores. I have one, but it's a really nice one! Well, okay, it's not all that fast and the throughput is kind of crappy, but it works, dammit.
• Backed by a team of angry developers...
• We just need to cover it up for now. If we keep going, either it will all fix itself, or it will explode.
• To hell with dignity. I'll leave when the job is done.
• Sleep well, and never forget that the cosmic shine of your madness is a beacon of hope in a life of rules.
• Never mind that the first is unusual and the second stupid, they should still function correctly.
• More on this later, when I'm not feeling like a mastadon trampled me at the market while choosing a nice brisket for dinner.
• I allow myself this vanity because... well, hell, I'm the only one here.
• I slept through the last apocalypse.
• I recall that day very clearly, in that I recall that I slept during most of that day.
• I had fun once. It was horrible.
• You don't have to argue with people who won't change their minds.
• Ordinarily what you're asking for would be kind of crazy, since the next thing that would be autoincremented isn't supposed to exist. But ordinarily the database wouldn't be schizophrenic.
• It doesn't matter what you yell so long as you yell loudly enough.
• Insanity and madness are different. Peas and carrots are different.
• That is horribly worded. It increases my rage.
• Life is short. Have an affair.
• Mister Crossbow is not your friend.
• If there isn't a problem, that's when you know you have a problem.
• Ambiguity is not an opening for insight but a bug to be fixed.
• Maybe I'm just a worrywart.
• If it doesn't fit, you're not shoving hard enough.
• I have heard your prayers and left my response on the talk page. Remember to love one another and eat more cauliflower.
• Everyone knows that canyon wrens never venture east of Texas.
• She was known as Isarra the Dreadful. Legends were woven about cities she had leveled, mountains she had eaten, oceans she had drank dry. Everyone was so disappointed when it turned out she was just a two-hundred-foot tall pigeon.
• I am going to kill myself with a shovel.
• It's an acronym, not a Rorschach test.
• If you rub an Orc up and down on a goat-hide you can make him stick to the ceiling.
• Editors are reminded that talk pages are not forums, and some editors are reminded more than others.
• Holy backlog batman.
• Surely someone has noticed the Board is missing a member.
• Beware of dev.
• Hygiene is harder than heroics.
• Captain, we're approaching a Plot Contrivance.
• Suffering isolates us. Loving presense prings us back, makes us strong.
• There is no bag of proof.
• We're all in this together, so let's support each other as best we can until darkness falls.
• We all learn to live with the inevitable.
• Life is just a momentary transition out of oblivion into oblivion.
• Wikipedia is the art of making up a convincing argument that arrives at the same ultimate goal as your actual reasons which for one reason or another you shouldn't make public.
• He poked that thing and then some things happened.
• How shall we, the murderers of all murderers, comfort ourselves?
• We must build our lives upon the firm foundation of unyielding despair.
• We are not who we were. In every moment we live, we die, and from every death we are reborn. Our existence deforms the universe, through action and response, choice and consequence. Thus is the evolution of presense, and thus we live and change.
• Happy database error day!
• I'm not your target audience. I don't know what your target audience is, but I'm not it.
• The DNS is handled by CATS.
• Oh, and this is confidential.
• This is why I love family. It's why I would do anything for family.
• They are my dreams. They are the best of me. They are better than I could ever be.
• Ick! God cooties!
• We cannot restrict threading. The users will not allow it. Not if they notice.
• Logic will get you nowhere.
• All stories are true. All stories are lies. This is no different.
• Girls can be anything they want to be! Even the anthropomorphic personifications of aspects of the universe!
• Well, excuse me for having an unhealthy obsession with a cold, emotionless encyclopedia dedicated to borderline unreadable nonsense.
• We pursue our lives with varying degrees of sloth and energy.
• Leading a human life is a full-time occupation.
• Reverse the polarity.
• Don't quit your day job.
• I can maybe erase twenty people.
• I'm too astute. I forgot what I was doing.
• My plasmodium is voluptuous.
• If there is no randomness then there is no freewill.
• It's not like I'm worried. If I could think straight about anything I'd be worried, though.
• Also we need a bug tracker somewhat.
• The dress was beyond hope, but saving the world should be a good excuse to buy a new one.
• I didn't know stones had such pretty singing voices...
• Pushed by a melody, warmed by a tune, I must be the luckiest cloud in all of creation.
• A fairytale? Dear gods, this was worse than she'd thought.
• People generally see what they look for, and hear what they listen for.
• I'm not a human. I'm a lunatic! Whatever it is, it must be much better than being a human.
• 9 out of 10 voices in my head tell me I'm insane... the 10th voice hums the tetris theme.
• You should be careful about threatening me, kitty. I may know it's all in good humour, but Fluffy might take offence and decide to eat your brains.
• There are no gods. No gods worthy of our freedom.
• It started nicely enough. Most nightmares do, and mine in particular.
• Dreams, and nightmares, are not made for rational thought.
• It stops being AI when the algorithm is found.
• Warning: Sanctions ahead
• Manholes are coming.
• Between the idea and the reality, between the concept and the creation, falls the shadow.
• Voicemail was a marketing ploy.
• She appeared to be making a ribcage out of wool.
• Your path is made out of choices, and those choices are your own.
• A wall was covered floor to roof with a bookshelf. The thought of all those static stories, trapped forever on pieces of paper, was rather dizzying.
• Nine-tenths of the universe is the paperwork.
• He was, he always said, only in it for the eyeballs.
• Genius is always allowed some leeway once the hammer has been pried out of its hands and the blood has been cleaned up.
• Things either exist or they don't. I am very clear about that. I have medicine.
• This is kind of like going on a blind date with your body.
• Memories of great times I can't remember...
• Threading: Sending people to die.
• This is the way the world ends: Not with a bang but a whimper.
• The target audience is males and females aged zero and up.
• Let's make better mistakes tomorrow.
• This is not an exit.
• It's just daft in typical WMF manner.
• Power is power.
• What is dead may never die.
• Shadows cannot live in the darkness. They are servants of light.
• It's like stepping into a dream that you've been dreaming as long as you can remember and finding out that the dream is more real than your life.
• Do not cross this stick.
• Gravity keeps doing its gravity thing a long way away from the earth.
• Do you think that organizations are run like Wikipedia articles?
• Will you see a clock the next time you look at your wrist, or will you see a dead plastic talisman of a society shattered into pieces by information overload? Chances are you'll see a clock.
• He's as dumb as he dresses.
• You're drinking embalming fluid.
• Grok notwithstanding, I insist you wear shoes for this conversation.
• Regional deficiencies for toast can be one sided.
• I got to jolk up the ant vomit a little, you see, so could you slap me?
• It's written in Old. Before they invented spelling.
• I must say you're a real brick.
• There is no justice. Just us.
• Is the world a plant, an animal, or a knitting loom?
• This article is burly men unfolding umbrellas.
• I shipped my penis with an 18-wheeler.
• Find what you love and let it kill you.
• According to Pratchett, five exclamation marks is an indicator of "someone who wears their underwear on the outside".
• It doesn't matter what a movement stands for, it matters what a movement does.
• Bring me a bucket, and I'll show you a bucket!
• I plucked a hair from the head of a dying baby! Let me give it to you!
• It lick the panes and smokes the glass.
• Dig! I'll know your lost unknown and rise to your depths.
• When the top level was built, no more could be placed. It was and is the maximal apex.
• How long will it be sung? My feet were set upon the rock but it turned to mud and drew me down.
• Does it blend?
• How does one queue cats?
• The divine being is the ultimate author of sin.
• All of it is true. Even the falsehoods. Especially the falsehoods.
• Lentil soup will wash away all wrongs.
• It takes nothing to join the crowd. It takes everything to stand alone.
• Modern feminism casts all men as predators, but in doing so, feminism casts all women as prey. I am not prey.
• Mike doesn't have friends so much as people he's willing to stand next to.
• Men aren't generally good or bad. They're just men.
• The silence must be on the ceiling.
• Smoke and mirrors, love. Smoke and mirrors.
• Since God necessarily exists and necessarily has certain properties, nothing that is incompatible with God's existence is possible. In this sense God is a delimiter of possibility.
• Bonkers.
• Slaughterfish!
• Zaori is a dragon and a server and above all else a really bad idea.
• I killed it.
• Unlinked 2 orphaned pipes.
• Unfortunately most friends think undying agreement is how to form healthy relationships.
• Arguing would take too much effort. I'm too tired to play myself.
• You can't ignore that half the population exists. It's not realistic.
• This yellow line down the center of my field of vision? It's just this line, slightly askew, marking the boundary between inside and out. It's perfectly real.
• I'm not interested in swordfighting your fart, Russ.
• You can buy the third fuel cell from Delenia. Be careful, though. She's crazy. She ate one of my cars once. Yeah, the whole thing. With just, like, a fork.
• And by the way, did you know that some ducks have huge penises?
• I feel fuzzy.
• I love octopus dependencies!
• She's an Uncyclopedian. An unprofessional funnywoman.
• Be just and if you can't be just be arbitrary.
• My reasons to live were my reasons to die, but at least they were mine.
• Nothing is not anything.
• An investment firm offers mutual funds with stocks chosen by a dart-wielding blindfolded monkey.
• Time really does flow.
• The next world will have to fend for itself.
• We're on a mission from Glod.
• It should either eventually crash or show you some kind of success dialog. If it's still sitting there after more than a half hour, it's probably done and you can safely kill it.
• Then you ask yourself, could I spend the rest of my life at this? If the answer terrifies you, it may or may not be a good sign.
• You see stuff looming up like iceberg things ahead but you mustn't do anything about it because it's a law. Can't break the law.
• I remember everything. As if it happend only tomorrow. Everything.
• He had a cough that sounded almost solid.
• For some money I won't follow you home.
• Have you got change for a penny?
• The one they called the Duck Man had a duck on his head. No one questioned it.
• There may be a logical reason.
• You are among men who can hold a lengthy conversation with a door.
• My uterus!
• There's no implication if there's no thought development.
• Everyone's equal when they're dead.
• Self interest is not in anyone's best interest.
• I would find her unsettling, but it is strangely difficult to find a woman who immediately trips over a bucket unsettling.
• I survive on the hatred of those that oppose me.
• Their greatest strength is their façade of weakness.
• Whether the first moment has an actual thickness is another question.
• Obviously the universe is rock-permitting.
• We are the crown of creation.
• This is the universe. Take it or leave it, it just is.
• As someone who regularly goes out looking like the Rise of the Swamp Thing, I can attest.
• I'm going to just immerse myself in my career and buy lots of cats.
• I love standards, there are so many to choose from.
• Getting an education was a bit like a communicable disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.
• Idiocy is not a communicable disease.
• Divide by cucumber error. Please reinstall universe and reboot.
• I'd tell your fortune, but the words don't rhyme.
• Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live.
• Oh, it's largely intuitive. Obviously you have to spend a lot of time learning it first, though.
• Anthill Inside.
• He just gives the impression of thinking but really it's just a show. Just like everyone else, really.
• I do ferns.
• I resent the implication that I am solely fern-fixated.
• Ferns aren't easy. You need a steady hand.
• One of the symptoms of those going completely yo-yo was that they broke out in chronic cats.
• Old gods take on new jobs.
• 'Panic!' is your solution to everything, isn't it?
• My agreeing isn't requisite to compliance.
• Civility is important, but it's no substitute for a well-equipped, modern air force.
• Why did mortals invent religion but for what they fear to lose?
• What you whispered should be screamed.
• So the US is about to go to war, and still no OTRS upgrade.
• Don't argue against them. Argue for the people watching.
• Women are precious delicate things that need to have attention directed toward them at all times or they wilt.
• The truth may be puzzling. It may take some work to grapple with. It may be counterintuitive. It may contradict deeply held prejudices. It may not be consonant with what we desperately want to be true. But our preferences do not determine what's true.
• This white whale has sailed, and I urge you to drop your harpoon.
• One considerable advantage that arises from Philosophy consists in the sovereign antidote which it affords to superstition and false religion.
• Everything is forbidden in Finland, or if it isn't, then it's taxed.
• All men are created equal, but some are more equal than others.
• Your password must contain at least 8 letters, 6 numbers, ４ＷＥＩＲＤ ＬＥＴＴＥＲＳ, ⑨ ⓑⓤⓑⓑⓛⓔ ⓛⓔⓣⓣⓔⓡⓢ, and ������ �������� ���� �������� ����������.
• They staple the fins to another shark.
• The Dream is a nightmare. See the world for what it is - episodes of pain ending in untimely death.
• I don't know if that was a free action. It may have just been a brain thing.
• Of course I'm afraid. I'm not an idiot.
• Someone killed a chicken.
• Namira covets your ugliness.
• I can see. The world beyond burns my mind.
• Naked women holding nunchucks are dangerous.
• Are you saying that kangaroos need to be tied down?
• Inside every living person is a dead person waiting to get out.
• Coal, perhaps.
• I don't think it's accurate to say that I know nothing. I rather think that you think that you know things and think that I don't know these things. That is what I think.
• The fish guts line isn't going to fly, I'm afraid.
• I am blown away by how complex this stupid thing is for doing something so simple.
• It means what is always said or believed by people who think only a little or not at all.
• Maybe he wasn't crazy, just insane.
• First there was Wasteland. Then there was Waste Land. Third came the Waste Lands. The speakers were all dead.
• Too many voices weigh heavy on a man's heart.
• Please read what the person said before immediately disagreeing with them.
• The nice thing about clueless jerks is that unlike calling people out for being jerks, there is little taboo about calling out people for being wrong. The clueless are often wrong.
• I will show you fear in a handful of dust.
• World's greatest saw-player! Sounds Hawaiian doesn't it!
• Go, then, there are other worlds than these.
• We may even be able to sleep without bullets stuffed into our ears.
• Folks around here can grow almost anything, as long as it's corn or beans.
• To the world there is sorrow and loss. To the stars there is hope and dreams. To the void lies freedom.
• The list grows.
• Eddie had killed it with illogic.
• Sometimes color is a coincidence.
• I'm not little, I'm five.
• God is petty and doesn't like to be called wrong.
• Courage, arrogance... same thing.
• The bullets in his ears blocked the voices completely.
• Dead is the gift that keeps on giving.
• You will be taken to a room with a moose.
• In a perfect environment it's perfect.
• It's still all toilet paper to me.
• If it's in your heart, it might as well come out your mouth.
• The column of truth has a hole in it.
• The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had.
• Compassion means not being arrogant when other people aren't as compassionate as you.
• Do not fold, spindle, or mutilate.
• In the Land of Memory, the time is always Now.
• The floormat proves it.
• No community is easier to govern than one that rejects the very concept of community.
• I'm here because someone mentioned rifles!
• Okay, put your back into it! A Watcher scoffs at gravity!
• I wear the cheese. It does not wear me.
• Mom... why are you living in the walls?
• I made lemonade, and now I'm learning how to play Majhong.
• A mouse is playing with my knees.
• Oh - we're thinking up a plan for world domination. The main component: A coffee maker that thinks.
• We've got important work here. A lot of filing. Giving things names.
• A forced smile is emotional deoderant.
• Hi, I'm Andy Sayler and I'm going to talk to you about moving mice off your screen.
• Please, please help me find my goddamn bible.
• I know how to age a painting.
• You're dead. So get some rest.
• Damn. That is quite the mental lag.
• All my art is awful. Hence I need to make more.
• Cat lick butt.
• Like a good programmer, a good artist is a lazy perfectionist - creative, bold, and at times downright ingenious.
• It's almost heaven for those who like their meat with a side of meat chased with a bit of meat.
• This is a group hug and you're part of the group.
• The mating habits of mid-level government employees - totally captivating.
• There's a weak law too. It's easier to prove, but inferior in every way; once you have a strong law you don't need a weak law.
• Filtering non-linear things is a bad idea.
• Why does time go forward?
• Stretching and folding is important.
• In a real physical system you can never prove anything.
• It depends on the eigenstuff and actuator capabilities.
• Cows live here.
• Nothing says springtime like a bunch of light-starved begonias.
• You shame yourself.
• Statistics do not lie. People use statistics to tell lies.
• The expected in-stock date is Invalid Date.
• He was afraid he had already hired all five women in computer science.
• I'll look for you when the war is over—an hour and a half from now.
• You have an omnipotent cheese god.
• He just wants two alligators who love each other forever.
• Oh dear, I think I'm becoming a god.
• It's not the brightest mind in the bucket.
• Identity theft is in an hour. It's always packed; they hand out cookies.
• I've got a hunger only tacos can stop.
• Trust the chicken sexers.
• Excellent. Let's make some LSD.
• Strangely profound for a narrative about a sponge.
• If it is said, it is bread.
• It is the fundamental theorum of why the universe makes sense.
• Stuff happens - we are the playthings of chance.
• We're all just cosmic junk.
• Eternity is an eternal present.
• If it's true then it's too late not to be true.
• There is no duality, no battle between good and evil, simply an encompassing whole.
• We are great because we know we are wretched.
• Anything's possible if you have a magic carpet.
• Ideas can be absorbed through osmosis.
• Her name was Coraline Henderson.
• Walter, put the cow away.
• You have a badger on your head.
• That's him. Right there. With a badger on his head.
• Take me to your centrifuge.
• Beware of echo chambers.
• The are times when the only choices you have left are bad ones.
• Nature doesn't recognise good or evil. It recognises only balance and imbalance.
• I want to marry your words then raise a family of little baby words.
• Knowing where I belong, I can go anywhere now. Because it means that I'll always have a place to return to.
• My heart isn't cold. It's broken.
• I don't think she's a parasitic/symbiotic oranism that lives on mushrooms, but hey, you never know with those japanese singers...
• All men dream, but not equally. Some dream by night, and find only vanity. But the dreamers of the day are dangerous. They make their dreams come true.
• In the seven hundred years that I have been a temple statue, I have never heard someone utter the words "a god" in the same ton that one might describe, oh... foot fungus.
• The choices you made are what led you here.
• Emily is good at remembering.

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